11 Reasons Not To Play Private Detective Before Your First Date

It’s tempting and pretty much expected that you’ll research a guy on social media and Google before going out with him, but it’s probably not the best idea. Be the start of a new trend — don’t play private detective before your first date. Trust me, if he’s a serial killer, it’s not going to be in his Facebook profile.

  1. You’ll earn the crazy label. Yes, guys help make women crazy, but part of that is women’s obsession with having to know every detail about a guy without ever talking to him. When you know his life story before he mentions it, you’re going to look like a complete psycho.
  2. At the very least, you’ll drive yourself crazy. If he seems too perfect, then there must be something wrong. If you find one thing wrong, you’re sure there must be dozens. But wait! Is he dating that woman in the picture or is it his sister? He claimed he liked old movies, but he doesn’t talk about them online. The more you snoop, the crazier you make yourself.
  3. You can’t help bringing up some dirt. You think you’re so smooth because you know everything about him. Too bad you brought up him getting fired from his job five years ago. He’s going to find out you did more than just check out his profile. Don’t play private detective because you won’t be able to keep it to yourself.
  4. You don’t know what the hell you’re looking at. It’s a first date. You probably barely know the guy. You’re not going to understand the inside jokes or who he’s posing with in pictures. Is the snooping — excuse me, research — really worth that kind of headache?
  5. You’ll be convinced he’s a cheater. It’s fine to want to know if he’s already dating someone else. The moment you see a picture of him with any other woman, even his mom, you’re certain he’s a cheater. Suddenly, you’re hating this poor guy who isn’t a cheater at all.
  6. You’ll forget not to like things. It’s habit. You’re scrolling through posts, happily liking and commenting. The problem is, you forget you’re playing the part of a PI. You’re not supposed to leave a trace. You’re going to freak the guy out if you’re liking his posts and pictures before the first date.
  7. You’ll probably just cancel anyway. Have you ever wondered why you cancel so many first dates? This is why. You’ve found so much dirt, or so you think, that you’ve convinced yourself he’s a horrible person. Instead of growing a pair and just going on the date, you assume he’s something he’s not and cancel.
  8. You’ll imagine things that aren’t there. If he’s not active enough on social media, you start imagining him as a weird creep. If he’s too active, you think he doesn’t have a life. You can’t judge a guy based on what you find online. If you try, you start imagining this fantasy version of him and it’s usually not flattering for him.
  9. You’re not a P.I. If you’re not one, don’t act like one.
  10. That’s what the date is for. The entire purpose of the date is to learn more about a guy. If you’re snooping online before the date, you don’t really need to go. Obviously, you’re more interested in a virtual boyfriend than a real one.
  11. People dated before social media. Gasp! It’s hard to believe, but it’s true. They were happier too because they didn’t freak themselves out over random stuff online that may or may not be what they think it is. Use your gut, go on the date and see if you even mesh with the guy before you analyze his entire life based on social media and Google.
Crystal Crowder is a freelance writer and blogger. She's a tech geek at heart, but loves telling it like it is when it comes to love, beauty and style. She's enjoys writing music, poetry and fiction and curling up with a great book. You can find her on Twitter @ccrowderwrites or check out her other writing on Medium.