Don’t Pretend To Be Weaker Than You Are Just So A Guy Won’t Be Intimidated By You

You’re a strong, independent woman. While you see that as an amazing accomplishment, some guys are unfortunately threatened by your strength. That says a hell of a lot more about those men than it does you, though. They’re weak AF and definitely not worth a strong woman’s time — here’s why:

  1. No one should be allowed to take away your light. Men shouldn’t take away from who you are as a person. Instead, they should be empowering you even further by making you feel even better about yourself. If a man ever makes you doubt yourself, then remember that if he thinks you’re not good enough the way you are, then he’s not good enough for you.
  2. Men and women should be equal partners. That’s how any good relationship works. Your partner should see you as an equal, not inferior just because you’re a woman. He’s not in charge. 2017 is long past the days of a woman being required to “stand behind her man.” It’s time for you both to be front and center as two strong individuals who just so happen to love each other.
  3. They’ll always try to be in control. Manipulation is their game. Those weak men will constantly try to control you in order to make themselves feel stronger. They’ll try to put you in your place — behind them — because the fact is they don’t want you to be strong and independent. They want you to be weak and dependent on them because otherwise, you might just figure out that you don’t really need them.
  4. Men should be feminists too. Men should care just as much about your rights as you do. If a man really cares and isn’t threatened by your strength, then he won’t try to diminish that strength. He’ll see you as an equal just like he would any other man. Just because you’re a woman doesn’t mean you should be weak, and just because he’s a man doesn’t mean he can’t care about a woman’s rights.
  5. You should never give up your independence. Just because you got a boyfriend doesn’t mean you should have to give up your strength as an independent woman. You still have the freedom to make your own choices and control your own life. If a man thinks that being with him means you have to give up that freedom, then he’s the thing you should give up instead.
  6. Love should never be selfish or unkind. If your strength threatens him, then he only cares about himself, not you. He doesn’t admire your independence. Why? Because it makes him feel like he’s less of a man. He has outdated logic, and that will always cloud any love he has for you. He wants you to be a certain way, but you’re strong enough to know you shouldn’t have to give up bits of yourself just to be with a man.
  7. You’ll always be catering to his low self-esteem. He’s threatened by your strength, so you’ll begin to hide it. You make yourself seem quieter or meeker in order for him to feel stronger. He’s intimidated by your independence because it tears away from his misguided conception of a man. He wants to be the strong one, and therefore you can’t be. Unintentionally, your strength will tear apart his confidence and unearth his struggle with masculinity.
  8. A man should love you for exactly the person you are. If he can’t handle your inner strength as a woman, then he can’t handle a relationship with you. A man shouldn’t want to change you — he should like you just the way you are. So if he’s threatened by a strong woman, then he’s just too weak to ever know real love.
  9. Weak men want to push you down. Why? So that they can push themselves up. They’re just like school bullies. They make you feel weak in order to make themselves feel stronger. Your strength threatens their masculinity. They want to feel like the greater gender, like they’re in charge. In their minds, it’s still a man’s world and you’re just living in it.
  10. A real man would admire your strength, not fear it. Guys who are afraid of your strength and independence will always try to take your greatness away from you. They’re afraid of a woman who is out of their control. Good guys admire a woman’s strength because all they want is for you to be the best you can be. If a man lets fear drive the decisions in his love life, then he’ll never be the boyfriend you want him to be.
  11. They just want you to stroke their egos. Your strength makes them feel weak and that’s why all they’ll ever want (more like desperately need) from you is for you to remind them that they’re the man. You’ll constantly be trying to make up for the fact that your strength weakens them. Unless you want to spend the rest of your life stroking their ego, don’t waste your time.
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.