Don’t Settle For A Guy Who Treats You Like Crap — You Can Do Better

Once you get into a toxic relationship, it’s hard to dig yourself out. It’s natural to want to give your all to someone you love, but if you’re only getting pain and misery in return, it’s not worth sticking around. If your partner is treating you like garbage, this is why you shouldn’t feel bad about making your exit as soon as possible:

  1. His drama is not your responsibility. You might think that since you’re his GF you should be helping him with his issues, but honestly, that’s how a toxic person manipulates you. He makes you think that you need to help him out when you really don’t. You don’t need stress in your life, and you’re only responsible for yourself. You deserve someone who isn’t going to pile on the drama.
  2. You don’t have to waste your life on someone who doesn’t do you justice. Maybe there was real love between you two before, but now it feels like you have to shrink to fit your relationship. Make yourself see it for what it really is. If you feel your relationship isn’t making you feel good or the guy you’re into is treating you like nothing more than a hookup, that’s more than a good reason to GTFO. You owe it to yourself to find happiness again elsewhere.
  3. You don’t deserve disrespect. There’s no excuse for getting disrespected by your BF no matter what they’re going through. You have to value yourself enough to know this so that you don’t forget you’re a queen who doesn’t bow down to someone unworthy of her attention.
  4. You’re under no obligation to remain in love. Just because you’ve been together for a long time doesn’t mean that you need to stay with your partner forever. If your feelings have changed or he turns out not to be the man you thought he was, you don’t need any more reasons to leave him behind. Who the hell said that you need to stay in an unsatisfying relationship?
  5. You need to love yourself more than anyone else. If you don’t love yourself, it’s going to be a lot harder to get out of toxic situations when you should. It’s not selfish to leave or to love yourself more than your partner — it’s necessary so that you don’t forget your worth. When you love yourself, you remember you’re worthy of real love and won’t settle for less.
  6. You deserve a man who will fight to keep you happy. It might be unrealistic to think you should be happy in your relationship all the time, but your partner should keep working hard to keep you happy so that he won’t lose you. He should earn your trust and love and then continue to earn it. If he’s stopped putting in the effort, why the hell are you still with him? You shouldn’t be doing everything while he just coasts along.
  7. Love should never be chosen over your happiness. Everyone searches for love, but it’s not something that conquers all if it’s not making you happy. It’s like wearing shoes that look great, but make walking unbearable. If the idea of love turns out to be more appealing than the reality of it, it’s OK to let it go.
  8. You deserve to be lifted up. When love is the right kind of love for you, it makes you feel like you can be the best version of yourself. If you feel drained or bored around your boyfriend, it’s a sign you’re in the wrong relationship. Those feelings are there for a reason, and you should listen to what they’re trying to tell you.
  9. You shouldn’t need to change or fix him. A good sign that you’re worth more than your boyfriend is if you’re trying to change or fix him. Whatever his issues are, you might think if you support and love him enough, he’ll change his ways. The truth is that sometimes you’ve got to step away and let people stand on their own two feet. If you’re always there and ready to help, you end up screwed over, unhappy, and depressed. It sucks, and no man is worth it if he’s dragging you into his crap.
  10. You should never define yourself according to how he makes you feel. When you love someone, it’s easy to pin your self-worth onto their opinions of you. The danger is that if they’re a jerk, they can easily bring you down. Forget depending on anyone’s opinions. If your partner makes you feel bad, the only thing you should be making him see is how quickly you walk out of his life with your standards intact and your head held high.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.