I Don’t Speak With Half My Family—Here’s Why That’s Okay

Family can be so complicated sometimes. There are always people in my life pushing me and making me feel guilty about the decisions I make even when they’re the best choices for my life. Because of this, I don’t speak with half my family and I am completely content with that. I made my choice to cut out toxic people no matter what our relationship so that I can live a long and happy life without feeling so weighed down by others’ opinions.

  1. You don’t need anyone who doesn’t need you. My mom always taught me that I never need anyone in my life who doesn’t want me in it. People who bring you down or who don’t care about you or your well-being are people that you don’t need in your life, even if they’re family members.
  2. I’m happier with a few family members who love me. The small number of family members I do engage with love and care about me. I’m happier to have a small number of relatives who will be there for me than a large family who degrades me and holds me back from who I’m supposed to be. Keeping a small circle can be better for you mentally than trying to make it work with so many people who don’t care to make it work.
  3. Letting people go helps you grow. When someone breaks your heart or lies to you, your friends and family always tell you to let that person go because they didn’t deserve you anyway. They tell you that letting them go will help you grow as a person, but no one ever says the same thing about toxic family members. Sometimes family isn’t forever and when they treat you poorly and refuse to acknowledge the hurt they cause in your life, they have to go.
  4. My friends are my family too. Friendship is an important bond to have with someone and sometimes it can be even stronger than a relationship with a family member. I have a few friends who are like sisters to me, friends who I will have in my life for a long time.
  5. My mental health has been better since I let toxic family members go. People in your life who cause you pain or who try to destroy your self-esteem aren’t worth keeping around. I don’t need negativity dragging me down when I have enough to worry about in life. My mental health depends on me to make decisions that are best for me to stay healthy. Having toxic people in your life can cause you to lose yourself. I worked way too hard to be the person I am today to let someone make me forget who I am.
  6. My family made me feel like I wasn’t worth anything. Having someone degrading you and putting you down constantly takes a toll on you. I was constantly being told I was doing something wrong or that I wasn’t good enough and it made me act differently. I lashed out easily, I was never happy, and I blamed myself for all my problems. I was only a kid and once I realized I didn’t deserve any of it, I walked away.
  7. Fake family members are the worst—I’d rather be lonely. You know what family members I mean—the ones who pretend they care about what you’ve been up to or the ones who haven’t seen you in years. They pretend to know everything about you even though they don’t. I’d rather be a lonely person than a person surrounded by people who pretend who have no love for me.
  8. Once I made the decision to cut them out, I felt a weight lift off my shoulders. Once you make the decision to cut a toxic person from your life, you will feel like a different person. It’s hard to cut people out and to tell them you don’t need them around anymore. It made me feel guilty and almost ashamed, but after it was done, I felt amazing. I felt like I could breathe again.