Don’t Treat Me Like An Afterthought — I Deserve More Than That

Don’t Treat Me Like An Afterthought — I Deserve More Than That ©iStock/PeopleImages

When Plan A doesn’t work out in life, you turn to your backup plan, right? Maybe for some things but when it comes to love, no woman deserves to be in second place, including me — I should be your first choice and if I’m not, you’d might as well walk away now.

  1. I don’t deserve to be anyone’s second choice. I’m too good for that. I actually have self-worth, and it doesn’t depend on you. The real question here is, why do you think that’s what I deserve? Do you treat all women this way or just me? Either way, I’m not having it.
  2. If you settle for me, then I’m also settling for you. I don’t want to settle for a man who doesn’t really love me or who only loves me because he couldn’t find anyone better. I don’t want to be your backup plan. I deserve to be loved unconditionally, and I won’t settle for anything less.
  3. I have other options. You’re waiting on your other options to play out, so what makes you think I don’t have other options too? Just because you’re blind to how amazing I am doesn’t mean other guys won’t be able to see the real me. There are billions of fish in the sea, and I’m not afraid to throw you back for a better catch.
  4. I’m an awesome catch. That’s right, I have the confidence to say that I’m a great girl looking for one hell of a guy. You might be able to push around some women as you play of their lack of self-confidence, but I’m not one of those girls. If you can’t appreciate the fact that I’m one of a kind, I’ll find someone who does.
  5. You’re not in charge here. You think you can treat me like second best and I’ll just stick around? Not a chance. You don’t get to decide how this plays out. I’m not your puppet and if you don’t want to treat me like an equal, then I’m just plain out of here.
  6. What if you were my backup plan? How would you feel if our roles were reversed and I was treating you like you weren’t my first choice? Pretty damn crappy is my guess, and that’s exactly how you’re making me feel right now. Now that you realize the damage you’re doing, maybe you’ll start being a little more careful with my heart.
  7. Stop treating love like a game. Someone took your first pick, so you chose me second? You weren’t good enough for the gold, so you’re settling for your silver medal girl? That’s not how love works. You’re not picking teams in gym class and women aren’t prizes. The stakes are way too high to make love a game, so either start playing fair or I’ll stop risking my heart on you.
  8. I need you to treat me like your first and only choice. You seem to need a little advice on what that entails, so here it goes: Look at me like I’m your one and only. Commit to me and only me with no looking back. Don’t wonder about what else is out there and just cherish my love. If you can’t sum up the courage to do that, then it’s my choice to forget you.
  9. If I’m not the one, then let me go. You’re wasting my time, and that’s not fair. I want true love, an epic love that’s novel-worthy. If you can’t give that to me then you need to let me know. I don’t want to invest in you and this relationship if you don’t feel the same way about me as I do about you. I want forever, so if you can’t love me like I want you to, let me find someone who can.
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.