If You Don’t Trust Him, Don’t Sleep With Him

Sex isn’t “just sex” — it’s a major act of trust. When you have sex with someone, you’re putting yourself in a position of vulnerability that you might not realize you’re in. Here’s why you really need to trust a guy before you get naked with him:

  1. It reduces the chances that he’d post dirty pics of yours online or share them with friends. This is scarily common nowadays, and yes, it’s totally embarrassing. Some guys will do it just because they’re jerks, others might do it as an act of revenge. Either way, it’s not something that you want to have happen, so choose your guys wisely.
  2. You need to feel confident that you’re not a side chick. Too many guys are way too comfortable lying about that kind of stuff. No one should have to deal with that kind of fallout when all they wanted was a quick fling.
  3. If you’re into BSDM, you need to trust your partner not to actually harm you. There are a lot of things that can go wrong in a BDSM session, especially if you’re into the more extreme stuff. If you want to enjoy this kind of sex play, you need to make sure that your partner knows what he’s doing and that he won’t actually actively try to push you further than you really want to go.
  4. It’s possible that he could even be lying about his STD status. It’s scary, but it’s true. There have been a lot of cases where people had caught diseases because their sex partners didn’t actually admit that they had something. By making sure you trust him, you’re potentially avoiding major problems elsewhere.
  5. You also have to trust that he won’t be a jerk about it. Ever notice how some guys just bail after they get laid, or how some just feel like they need to tell everyone your business? By actually taking the time to deem a guy trustworthy, you’re able to cut down on that kind of douchey behavior.
  6. Trust is sexy. When you aren’t wondering what your partner might be up to, sex becomes a lot more relaxing. When you’re relaxed, the whole thing feels that much better.
  7. You need to be able to trust that he’ll respect your sexual boundaries. No matter what kind of sex you’re into, you need to keep it consensual. Anything other than consent is rape. If he’s not going to respect your boundaries, he doesn’t deserve to sleep with you, period.
Ossiana Tepfenhart is a New Jersey based writer and editor with bylines in Mashed, Newsbreak, Good Men Project, YourTango, and many more. She’s also the author of a safe travel guide for LGBTQIA+ people available on Amazon.

She regularly writes on her popular Medium page and posts on TikTok and Instagram @ossianamakescontent.