I Don’t Understand How Being A Mom Could Be More Enjoyable Than These Things

Parenting isn’t for everyone, and some women are truly much happier without children. We don’t dislike them — we just value other elements of our lives more highly than the idea of having them. These are some of the facets of childfree life that we love and find way more fulfilling than the idea of starting a family:

Choosing our own priorities. Once you have a kid, that’s it. That tiny person is now your number-one priority (or damn well should be if you’re a decent parent). Some of us would rather pick and choose what we want to take precedence in our lives. We gain a great deal of freedom by not having children, and we relish it.

Spending time with our friends. Sure, some of them do have kids. We can share our different experiences with each other. We childless ladies would rather spend time with the people we already care about than create new people that take up every spare moment. It’s nice to get to go out if we feel like it and not worry about anything. We also make great babysitters if our mom friends need us!

Spontaneous road trips. We value our freedom and the ability to change our lives on a dime if we so choose. We can up and leave for a day or a week or a month if we feel like it. Nothing stands in our way. There’s something to be said for keeping this kind of independence in lieu of a family. If our finances and circumstances allow it, we can go wherever we please on a moment’s notice.

Traveling internationally. Journeying abroad is complicated enough without adding unpredictable little people to the mix. We settle back, drink some wine, and sleep peacefully on that overnight flight while the moms exhaustedly wrestle their little ones. Everything travel-related is easier if you go solo or with another adult.

Escaping into the outdoors. We’re wild women. We want to be able to disappear into the woods or to a remote lakeside cabin at a moment’s notice and perhaps stay there a while. We can’t just up and do that if we have a bunch of kids in tow. Everything becomes so complicated, even getting closer to nature. It’s not the same, and we won’t give up our carefree ways.

Not having a ticking biological clock. We don’t even understand what that is, because we’ve never felt it. We have no timeline. We don’t have to settle down anytime soon and find a father for our children. We can stay single, date, be in casual relationships, or whatever we want. We don’t define our lives by how soon we need to start a family, and that feels wonderful.

Sleeping in. Whether we love to sleep or love to wake up early, it’s still awesome to have the option. We spend our mornings exactly how we want, free of the needs of others. If we have a day off, we aren’t prisoners to familial needs and obligations. We can sleep in until noon and savor every last moment of it or we can rise early and read the weekend paper in peace and quiet.

Staying single for as long as we want. We don’t have to be sad if we pick the wrong partner to start a family with or if we never find the right guy at all. We don’t settle just so we can get pregnant before we’re no longer able. We’re incredibly lucky in this way. Some women never find love and never have the family they wanted. Some women can’t have children at all. We escape this pain, thankfully.

Choosing how we spend our money. It’s a beautiful thing — we make our own money and choose exactly how and why we spend it. Kids are expensive! We would rather know that our finances are in order and that we’re secure for the future. We find this much more fulfilling than spending thousands upon thousands of dollars on children.

Moving to a new place. We can create our own mobility and move wherever we want if we so desire. As long as we can find jobs and places to live, we can go anywhere we want. There’s nothing tying us down or keeping us in a place we don’t want to be. We’d rather have this freedom than deal with compromising for a family.

Dating whoever we want. We don’t have to hide new companions from our children or vet whether they’ll be good stepparents. We can have fun, make mistakes, and take our time meeting the right person. We can let guys into our houses without worrying about confusing our kids. We don’t have to deal with the painful ramifications that divorce has on children either.

Maintaining our physical fitness. True, this can be done as a mother, but it’s a lot more difficult. Our time is our own and we can devote more of it to staying healthy and in shape. We don’t put our bodies through the rigors of pregnancy or devote all of our energy to our kids. We aren’t too tired to get up early in the morning or stay up a little later at night to exercise.

The energy and time to enjoy our journeys. For some, that journey means raising a family, and that’s perfectly fine. It’s simply not our jam. We want to develop and grow as we were meant to without any outside factors like having to devote ourselves entirely to another human being. We will have a different experience, but for us, it’s the correct one. We’re more fulfilled by our freedom than we could ever be by having kids.

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