I Don’t Want Children & I’m Never Going To Change My Mind About It

I Don’t Want Children & I’m Never Going To Change My Mind About It ©iStock/AmmentorpDK

I want to move in with my boyfriend and get married and spend the rest of our lives together — but I don’t want to have children. It’s not something I’m ever going to change my mind about, even though everybody thinks it is. Here’s why:

  1. I have no desire for them. I’m not going to force myself to have children, because it’s what society (or my mother-in-law) expects of me. I don’t need a baby in order to feel complete. I know getting pregnant was the best thing to ever happen to some women, but it would just make me miserable.
  2. Kids aren’t my cup of tea. I’m the first person to run to the door on Halloween to give kids candy and compliment their cute costumes. I’m not a monster. I don’t hate children, but I can only stand them for short bursts of time.
  3. Pregnancy sounds like pure torture. Throwing up, gaining weight, peeing every five seconds, stretching out my tattoos, and swearing off of alcohol for nine months? No thank you. Nothing about that sounds appealing to me.
  4. I want to focus on my career. There are women who are capable of juggling a job and raising a little kid, but I feel like a child would hold me back. I want to make something out of myself. I want all of my energy to be on advancing my career, and a kid would just be a distraction from reaching my dreams.
  5. I’m not selfish. Some people have kids for foolish reasons, like so they have someone to take care of them when they’re old or so they have someone to live vicariously through. I’m not willing to do that. So don’t call me selfish for refusing to have kids, when really, I’d be selfish if I chose to have them.
  6. I’m still going to leave my mark on the world. I don’t need to have children, just so I can feel like a part of me will still be alive after I’m gone. Once I die, I’ll continue to live through my friends, my family, and my writing. That’s more than enough for me.
  7. I want my boyfriend to remain my top priority. Some couples have children to “save” their marriage, but I don’t think kids would bring us together. If anything, I think they would push us apart. They’d make it harder to go out on dates every weekend, to travel, and to have impromptu sex.
  8. I’m not willing to put in the work. You can’t enter a serious relationship, unless you’re willing to devote yourself to another person. And you can’t have a child unless you’re willing to give them everything you have to give. I know that much, which is why my birth control pills are my best friend.
  9. I don’t want to damage a little kid. I know what’s it’s like to have a crappy parent, and I know how easy it is to mess a child up. I refuse to bring a child into this world when I know I’m not capable of raising it right.
  10. I like my sleep. A baby waking me up in the middle of the night is literally the worst thing that could happen to me. I want a full eight hours of sleep. Without it, what’s the point of living?
  11. I’m not cut out for motherhood. I couldn’t watch my little girl get catcalled by a man twice her age. I couldn’t watch my little boy come home crying after getting beat up at school. The world is too cruel for me to bring anyone new into it.
  12. My pets are my babies. I love animals more than people. They’re loyal, enthusiastic, and easy to take care of. Why would I want a human baby when I could have a puppy instead?
  13. My genes shouldn’t be passed down. I’m probably doing the world a favor by refusing to pop out children. I have a severe case of jealousy, anxiety, and OCD. I don’t want to curse a kid with those issues.
  14. I’m happy without kids. I don’t need a man to feel complete and I don’t need a child, either. I’m happy on my own. I never want to have a baby, because I know my life is best without one, but for some reason the world just doesn’t seem to accept that.
Holly Riordan is a writer from Long Island, New York who has authored several science fiction and horror books. A graduate of Stony Brook University, she has spent nearly a decade writing for publications including Thought Catalog, Huffington Post, Teen Vogue, and more. You can find her on Instagram @hollyrio and Twitter @hollyyrio.