I Don’t Want To Be Your Girlfriend, I Just Want To Have Sex With You

Sometimes I meet guys that I’m immediately attracted to and want to have animalistic sex with… and that’s about it. They’re not the type I would ever take out in public or want to be my boyfriend, but that doesn’t mean we can’t have fun in the bedroom. Weirdly enough, that seems to put me in the minority of women and leads to some pretty interesting interactions with guys.

  1. Guys don’t believe me most of the time. Trust me when I say that most guys who want a relationship with me won’t accept sex alone as a consolation prize. In fact, most of them try to cajole me into dating them or even guilt trip me for not wanting to.
  2. The ones that do believe me might sometimes refuse to sleep with me because they want an “all or nothing” deal. Not going to lie, I was disappointed in that one guy who did that. Actually, not disappointed but sexually frustrated with him. That being said, he wasn’t worth getting angry over and it was no loss on my end.
  3. Some guys will look relieved about it. Clearly, these were the guys who were total players who lied about their desires thinking it will get them laid. The funny thing is, I was OK with it because I could never see myself dating a guy like them, anyway.
  4. It’s kind of awkward admitting it the first couple of times. For some reason, it’s a lot harder to admit that I just want to get laid than it should be. Though logically I understood that what I was asking for wasn’t bad, I generally did feel like I was being weird about it. It shouldn’t be so hard to admit that I want sex, but in our society, it is.
  5. After a while, it was liberating. When I just openly admit it, it’s actually a pretty freeing experience. I feel unfettered by society’s expectations, and to a point, I even make myself feel proud. I’m being real with my desires, and that’s pretty damned cool.
  6. Somehow, it makes the sex hotter. When there’s no strings attached, I know I’m not going to deal with catching feelings. This kind of sex isn’t pretentious, nor is it a means to an end. It’s nothing but getting unadulterated, passionate pleasure. Though sex is better with someone I actually love, that unique kind of passion a truly no-strings fling offers is a very nice second.
  7. In a weird way, it’s also empowering. To a point, actually saying this (and meaning it) makes me feel like I’m the one calling the shots. It’s nice to feel like I’m in control of my relationship status, and even nicer to know that I can be the one to turn away offers for something more serious.
  8. Overall, it’s fun. What more is there to say? It’s pretty fun to have a fling once in a while.
Ossiana Tepfenhart is a New Jersey based writer and editor with bylines in Mashed, Newsbreak, Good Men Project, YourTango, and many more. She’s also the author of a safe travel guide for LGBTQIA+ people available on Amazon.

She regularly writes on her popular Medium page and posts on TikTok and Instagram @ossianamakescontent.