I Don’t Want A Guy To Pay On A Date — Going Dutch Is The Only Way

Every girl wants to be wined and dined on a first date, but having a guy foot the bill isn’t always a good thing. I never expect guy to pay for everything on the first date, and in fact, I’m more than happy to pay my portion of the bill. If you’re not a fan of going dutch, you should be. Here’s why it’s basically the only way I date these days:

  1. I Don’t Feel Like I Owe Him Anything. Some guys will pay for everything with hopes that they’ll be repaid with sex at the end of the night. I never want to feel obligated to do anything with anyone just because they bought me a $30 dinner or a few drinks. Paying my own way lifts a weight off my shoulders.
  2. It Takes Off a Lot of Pressure. Prior to going out, I always let guys know I’ll be paying for myself, and this really alleviates a lot of pressure for the both of us. Most guys know they’re expected to pay on the first date, but if I can completely eliminate this unwritten rule, we’re both able to just sit back, relax and enjoy ourselves.
  3. We Can Get to Know Each Other As Friends. Since we’re going dutch, we’re technically just hanging out as friends. This removes the romantic elements from the date and lets us focus on just getting to know each other instead. Obviously we’re going on a date hoping for a romantic connection, but if it doesn’t happen, at least I’ve got a new friend.
  4. I’m Capable of Paying for Myself. Some guys assume girls agree to go out on a date just to get a free meal, but for me, that’s not the case at all. I’m more than capable of paying for myself. When going dutch, I don’t have to worry about order something that’s out of his budget. I know exactly how much money I’m able to spend and I can do so without wondering if I look greedy or like a gold digger.
  5. It Eliminates Unnecessary Confusion. The most uncomfortable part of most dates is when the check comes at the end of the night. Instead of both of us clumsily reaching for the bill or one of us just sitting there awkwardly, I’d much rather have my own check and pay for it on my own. It’s just easier that way.
  6. It’s Just Fair. It’s just the first date. It’s not like we’ve been together for years and have history together. It’s only fair that I pay my tab and he pays his. That’s not to say if we continue to date that we can’t treat each other every once in a while, but at the very beginning, it’s better to just pay our own way.
  7. I’d Rather Treat the Date as a First Greeting. Instead of calling it a first date, I prefer to call it a first greeting. This is a time for us to feel each other out and to determine if there are any sparks. I don’t think a guy should feel obligated to pay if we’re not even sure if we like each other.
  8. I Don’t Want Him to Feel Used. Some guys feel used at the end of the date if they’ve shelled out a ton of cash to impress a girl they really like. There isn’t any guarantee that she’ll actually like him back. I never want my date to feel used or taken advantage of, and paying my own way is one way I can make sure of that.
  9. If I Never Speak to Him Again, I Won’t Feel So Bad. Let’s face it — most first dates are disastrous. I’m not sure if I even want to go on a second date at that point, so going dutch makes things easier for me. If I decide I never want to see him again, I won’t feel so bad that we never made it past date #1.
  10. Guys Dig It. Guys actually wish more girls would offer to go dutch, so when I offer to split the check, it’s a major turn on. It lets guys know I’m confident and independent. Of course, I’m not paying my tab just to impress them; I’m paying it because it’s the right thing to do. It’s just an added bonus that guys really dig a girl who can handle her own.
An avid internet surfer with a passion for writing.