I Don’t Want To Hear “I Promise” Anymore

I Don’t Want To Hear “I Promise” Anymore ©iStock/knape

I’ve been stood up, promised a marriage that was never going to happen and had millions of instances where guys promised me they’d change or that things would get better when that was total BS. Clearly, since I’m still single and bitter as hell, those promises really didn’t pan out. Frankly, I don’t want to hear “I promise” come out of a man’s mouth again. Here’s why I’m sick of that phrase and what I’d rather have instead:

  1. Talk is cheap. Every jerk on the planet has said “I promise” to a girl. I ought to know — I’ve dated plenty who have promised me everything and more. They’ve promised they’d show up on dates, they’ve promised they’d make it up to me, they’d promised all the world on a silver platter, but here we are! Talk is cheap, and it’s easy to talk a big game. If I wanted more hot air, I would have gone on a balloon ride.
  2. Promising to make things better is just a way to prevent a breakup without actually solving anything. This is one of those habits I’ve noticed with the men in my life. I’d call them out on their crap, they’d promise to “work on it,” then wouldn’t do anything to solve the issue. Clearly they weren’t trying to make things better at all. Rather, they were trying to keep their cushy status quo. After all, if they promised something, they’d be able to tell me to wait a bit longer before results happen.
  3. Most guys don’t keep their promises, so I don’t believe people when they say they will. Call me jaded, but I roll my eyes at people’s promises. If they did, I’d be wifed up, have a dozen roses every week, and a lot of men would be way better human beings. Why would I believe in a promise when chances of them actually keeping that promise are slim to none? I’d rather not hear a promise, get my hopes up, then have my hopes dashed.
  4. If it gets to the point that you have to promise to make things better, you’ve already messed up majorly. The funny thing about this is that most of the time, relationship fails can be prevented. In fact, guys usually know what they’re doing wrong and just don’t care enough to avoid doing it. I think I speak for all women when I say that dealing with mess ups isn’t an ideal situation. I’d rather the guy just not be a jerk in the first place.
  5. Dating sucks because of how many broken promises I had to endure. Seriously, hearing all those promises is downright depressing! Here’s a novel idea: stop promising me stuff. I’d respect guys more if they actually would only promise what they could really do, rather than what they think I want to hear.
  6. Want to make a girl feel better about dating you? Stop promising, start doing. If you want a girl to believe in you, do the things you actually promise to do. In fact, you don’t even have to tell me that you’re doing it. Anyone who actually is worth staying with will notice when a guy is actually making moves to better his standing with you. This alone would make a guy stand out compared to 99% of men I’ve met.
Ossiana Tepfenhart is a New Jersey based writer and editor with bylines in Mashed, Newsbreak, Good Men Project, YourTango, and many more. She’s also the author of a safe travel guide for LGBTQIA+ people available on Amazon.

She regularly writes on her popular Medium page and posts on TikTok and Instagram @ossianamakescontent.