I Don’t Want Just A Piece Of A Man’s Heart—I Want The Whole Damn Thing

Some men are what I like to refer to as semi-available. They’ll only ever give a girl a piece of them and will only let them halfway in. That kind of relationship just isn’t for me. I don’t want just a piece of a guy’s heart—I want the whole damn thing.

  1. I won’t compete for a guy. No woman should have to. I’m not going to try to convince a guy to love me. I won’t list off all the reasons I’m so wonderful as if I’m begging him to pick me. If he can’t see how great I am on his own and if he pits me against other women then he’s just not worthy of me. He either gives me his whole heart or he doesn’t get a single piece of me.
  2. I need to be with someone who isn’t afraid of commitment. I’m so sick of men with commitment issues. If they’re not ready for a relationship then why the hell are they dating? I don’t want to fall for a guy I can never have a real future with. If he’s not ready to be a boyfriend and commit wholeheartedly to one woman then he needs to take himself out of the dating game and stay strictly in the hookup lane.
  3. I want to be on an even playing field. That means his feelings need to match my own. I don’t want to fall head over heels for him when he just kind of likes me. He’s either interested or he’s not. He either pursues a relationship with me fully or he walks away. If I’m all in then he’d better be too because I don’t have relationships where I’m not an equal.
  4. Love isn’t a maybe kind of thing. If he really loves me, he shouldn’t have any doubts. If he doesn’t have any then why would he be keeping any piece of his heart from me? He can’t go back and forth in his mind trying to figure out if he really loves me. When you’re really in love, you know it, and I don’t want to be with a man who has that much uncertainty about me.
  5. I need to feel safe and secure in my relationship. If I don’t have a man’s whole heart I’ll always worry about the pieces that don’t belong to me. Will I ever have the whole thing? Or will the piece that’s not for me grow bigger and bigger until he someday leaves me? If he’s not all in, I can’t feel safe with him. Instead, my insecurity will obsess over the day he inevitably is going to leave.
  6. I can’t deal with a guy who still has feelings for his ex. I’m not a rebound girl. If a guy is still in love with his ex then he needs to take the time on his own to get over her before he tries to start a relationship with a serious girl like me. I’m not here to help him move on or get him ready for someone new. If his heart still lies with her then I’ll never feel confident in his feelings for me.
  7. I don’t want to be just an option. If a guy wants to keep his options open then he shouldn’t be dating a relationship girl like me. I date one man at a time and give that man my full attention. I’m not off seeing other guys or looking for better men in my spare time. I want a man who will give me that same courtesy because I deserve to be the only girl he wants, not just the option he chooses for the time being.
  8. If he’s not 100 percent in I’ll always feel like he’s settling. I shouldn’t submit myself to being with a man who makes me feel bad about himself. If I feel like he’s settling for me, I’ll always think that I’m the problem, like I’m just not good enough. I want a man who makes me feel amazing and like I’m the only girl for him, not like he’s with me just because that’s better than being alone.
  9. A guy is one thing I don’t want to share. At least not in the romantic or the physical sense. If his heart is spread out among multiple women, I’m not going to throw myself into that type of situation. I want loyalty and how can I have that if any piece of his heart is attached to someone else?
  10. I can’t be vulnerable with someone who’s not fully open to me. I just won’t feel comfortable when I’m putting my heart on the line and he has one foot out the door. If I’m going to break down my walls for a guy, he should be more than willing to do the same for me. We have to both be in this together or else I’m just setting myself up for heartbreak.
  11. I need a guy who’s completely emotionally available. Every man is going to have baggage, but if he hasn’t dealt with his issues then he’s not ready for a girl like me. He needs to fix his problems on his own and put his past behind him before he can build a future with someone new. I just can’t put my faith in a man who’s not fully ready for a real and raw emotional relationship.
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.