I Don’t Want An Ordinary Love — I Want To Be Completely Overwhelmed

I’m not gonna lie — the honeymoon stage of a relationship is fun, but I want it to last years and years. I know that sounds a little naive but I don’t think it actually is. I’m certain that this kind of over-the-top, passionate, dizzying, consuming love exists, and I don’t want to settle for anything less.

  1. I want this love to be different. We all come from different backgrounds and grow up to be vastly different people, so there aren’t just a few forms of love – there are endless forms love can take. I never want to let the love I’m seeking fall short of the love I see on the big screen or in books — I know the real thing will be even better.
  2. I deserve the best in life. This overwhelming love won’t be all flowers and candy and hot sex all the time. There will be hard times and heartbreak to overcome. But this kind of love will still be invigorating during the low points because I know I’ll have a partner by my side. I won’t settle for anything less than a love that I’ll always be willing to fight for, even when I feel like there’s no fight left in me.
  3. I expect to get what I give. You get back what you put out into the world, especially when you understand your worth, so in order to get the spectacular love I’m searching for, I’ve learned to recognize what is and isn’t worth my time. I’ll give my all to the guy who’s respectful, kind and trustworthy. The rest will get nothing but the bare minimum of my efforts.
  4. Self-love makes other love easier to find. I know that romantic love will be impossible to find unless I figure out how to truly love myself first. Unless I’m certain of all the wonderful things I deserve, I won’t be able to see the right person even if he was standing in front of me. Self-love is the key to finding the kind of love that lasts forever.
  5. I’ll know once I find it. I’ll only find this type of love once I meet the person that shares my vision on what a partnership like this entails. He’ll eagerly give his all to make me feel safe, loved and desired, and I will do the same for him. Once I find that guy, the feeling will hit me like a brick to the face — no guesswork involved.
  6. Past relationships will seem insignificant. This is a love that will make all previous relationship drama seem silly and small. Tears shed over boys who were far from becoming men will seem wasteful. Nothing from the past will compare to this present and its monumental future.
  7. It will make me grateful for how far I’ve come. I want a love that lifts me up and makes me better, a love that solidifies the strength I have will make me appreciate everything else I’ve been given. This love won’t leave me seeking greener pastures. It’ll be so all-encompassing that I won’t even wonder if the grass is greener elsewhere because I’ll be too busy loving where I am right there in that very moment.
  8. It will be clear and given without hesitation. This love isn’t draining. It’s not the kind of feeling that will leave me doubting its potential, or wondering where I stand. That confusion is reserved for f*ckboys to dole out. Those guys are incapable of loving others because they’re too busy being in love with themselves. Real, lasting love will be given to me freely, and there will be no doubt in sight.
  9. There’s beauty in imperfection. It might not be the kind of love that’s seen in filtered Instagrams or rom-coms, but who really wants that? Fake, flawless love that fades to credits before any real obstacles pop up isn’t worth my time. I want a love that’s unpolished. I want us to wake up on a Sunday morning with dark circles under our eyes with ratty hair and terrible morning breath… and still be in awe of each other.
  10. Fairytales aren’t real, but this is. They aren’t real, mainly because the majority of them require one party (the woman, typically) to be saved from someone or something in order to reach her happily ever after. But this love — the real, consuming, dazzling love — will ensure that both parties are strong enough to save themselves and united enough to save each other when necessary. I don’t want a fairytale because fairytales aren’t good enough. I want more.
is a freelance writer for Bustle and Petcha, and editor for Wise Bread. She suffers from separation anxiety, and can't bear to be away from her dog for more than 20 minutes. Her dog doesn't seem to care either way. Sweater season is her favorite season.