Do you think that if your partner doesn’t post about you on social media that he or she isn’t that into you? Here’s why this couldn’t be further from the truth, why I don’t care that my S.O. doesn’t do this, and why you shouldn’t worry about it either.
These couples are just trying to convince themselves and others. It seems like the guy who has to write a love post to his girlfriend for everyone to see is attempting to convince himself or his friends that his relationship is the real deal when in reality it’s probably the complete opposite. He usually says something over the top like “she’s the ultimate woman,” or “I don’t deserve her.” Or she’s his #WCW every week. Eye roll. Anyone with a brain can see right through it and isn’t buying it.
People that do this are insecure about their relationships. Researchers have proven that relationship visibility on social media correlates with insecurity. People are basically overcompensating for their problems. According to sexologist Nikki Goldstein, these relationships are most likely failing, and the dramatic posts are more about getting likes than connecting with their partner. They’re looking for other people to reassure them that their relationship is valid because it’ll make them feel better, or it’s a distraction. If you’re going to post about your SO, make it for fun and not to prove something.
Couples that do this almost always break up. Because couples that post constantly about their partners probably have relationship issues, it’s no wonder that those that are the most vocal don’t seem to last. Their “one-of-a-kind” love may already be dead or close to it. When these people break up, the whole social media world knows the jig is up and that their posts were phony. And nothing they advertise in their subsequent relationship means anything, so what’s the point?
I honestly don’t want my S.O. to preach how obsessed he is with me. I’m not jealous of couples that do this. I’d rather my partner show me how he feels by how he interacts with me on a daily basis, not by his social media posts. I want him to do other things to show me he cares that are more private, like a written love letter for example- way more romantic and special.
My partner and I don’t do it because it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks about our relationship. And it’s not anyone’s business either. If I need relationship advice, I’d talk to the people closest to me, not random people from high school that I haven’t seen in years because who cares what they think? I’m not going to listen to anyone else’s opinion about our relationship, and I don’t need their validation.
All I care about is how we feel toward each other. I don’t care what anyone else says- all that matters to me is that we communicate and that we’re on the same page. I want us to talk about our feelings in person- saying how much we appreciate and love each other is so much better than plastering it on social media.
I’d rather my partner display his feelings in other ways. Showing me through his actions is much more important to me, even if it’s with small gestures. For example, making me dinner, taking care of me when I’m sick, or even doing chores is way more effective at proving how much he cares. Not to mention it’s way more of a turn on.
I don’t need social media games as a distraction from real life. I’m not concerned about what my partner is or isn’t doing on social media, and I don’t overanalyze. If I was fixated on why he doesn’t brag about me online, I’d miss out on life. Too much social media takes away from what our attention should actually be on– our real lives and relationships. So I focus on face-to-face interactions.
I live in the moment. I try to build great memories, not social media presence. I care more about enjoying life than being preoccupied with how many likes my posts are getting, or what others think about my relationship. Even science says less social media is better– people who use it less feel more satisfied with their lives overall, are generally in a better mood, and are actually more content with their social lives. What other reason do you need to stop being lovey-dovey online?
So please stop preaching about your eternal love. I love seeing that my friends are happy in their relationships, but I don’t need an essay about their feelings. It’s none of my business, and I don’t need to worry about anyone else’s problems. If you’re really in love, you should be too busy enjoying life to be hung up on what your partner is saying about you on social media. I know I am- this is why I don’t need my S.O. to post about me. Let’s live life for experiences, not likes!