If You Don’t Want Something Serious, I Have The Right To Walk Away From Casual

We meet, there’s a spark, and I want to take it to the next level but you’re only interested in something casual. I have to agree, right? After all, I shouldn’t push you into a relationship. You might not be ready or interested in something serious, but I don’t have to keep it casual — I can just walk away.

  1. We’re looking for completely different things. So why should I stick around? You’re not willing to give me what I want but I have to take your counter-offer? That doesn’t sound fair. I’m all for compromise but not on this. I’ll take my business elsewhere.
  2. You have every right to have casual sex and I have every right not to. You’re interested in casual and maybe even meaningless sex. That’s your prerogative, but I have just as much of a right to the opposite. I’m not judging you for your sex life, but don’t judge me for mine. Just because modern dating seems to be all about casual sex doesn’t mean I have to accept that. I’m looking for more.
  3. If we can’t make each other happy then what’s the point? I want something serious. You want something casual. Whatever compromise we come up with, neither of us will truly be happy. We’re headed down different paths. I want you to be happy, but I have a right to be happy too, and I know I wouldn’t be happy just being casual with you.
  4. I don’t want to force someone to be with me. I shouldn’t have to beg you to be with me. You should want to be with me, but clearly, you don’t. Am I just supposed to wait around hoping someday you will? You either don’t like me enough to have an actual relationship or you prefer to keep sowing your wild oats. Fair enough. We had chemistry, but maybe that’s all it ever was, so let’s just leave it at that.
  5. We both have needs. You’re perfectly fine having a sexual relationship, just not a romantic one. Well, you might need sex, but I need feelings to go along with it. You want a physical connection, but I want an emotional one. You have your needs, but I have mine too and they’re just as important.
  6. I don’t want to waste my time. I’m not interested in something fun for right now. I want a relationship with a future. Will you ever be ready for something more? Will you ever get over this fear of commitment and actually want to be with me? I can’t stick around to hear the answers to those questions.
  7. I shouldn’t have to settle. I want something serious and I shouldn’t have to give up on that for something casual just to be with you. You shouldn’t have to settle either. We both want different things and we can both find them, just with different people.
  8. There’s someone out there who can offer what I’m looking for. The same goes for you — I’m sure there are plenty of girls who want to keep things chill and aren’t looking to settle down. Unfortunately, I’m not one of them. I think it’s best that we hold out for exactly what we want.
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.