If We Don’t Want The Same Things, How Can We Expect This To Work?

We’d been dating for a while and we were finally at a place where it made sense to figure out where things are going. The talk didn’t go quite how I expected it to, though — turns out we want different things in life, and if that’s the case, this is never going to work.

  1. We don’t have the same future. There’s a fork in the road and our lives seem to be headed down different paths. Life might be a journey, but what’s the point in partnering up with a companion who’s not going in the same direction? Being together would just throw both of our lives off-course. It’s better we part ways now while we’re still young.
  2. Sometimes love isn’t enough. The sad truth is love doesn’t conquer all. Meeting the man of my dreams should be everything I ever wanted, but being with you means I’d never have anything else I want in this life. That might sound harsh, but I’ve got bigger dreams than just being some man’s wife. Love isn’t enough to conquer our differences and we need to accept that.
  3. There is only so much compromise you can make. Not every relationship struggle has an even compromise. Some problems have no solutions and that’s why couples break up. We’re at a dead end here. The longer we’re together, the longer we’re both putting off the future we always wanted. We’re holding each other back and it’s time we both let go.
  4. How many sacrifices do I have to make for love? Finding “The One” is supposed to be a dream come true. Instead, this feels like I’m being forced to pick a new dream. I really like you and I don’t want to give this up, but I also don’t want to give up the future I’ve been dreaming of my whole life. I’m sorry, but that’s just too big of a sacrifice.
  5. It’s better to get out before it’s too late. If we don’t want the same things, I want to know that from the beginning. I don’t want to find out down the road when I’ve already fallen in love with you. I don’t need that pain. If we’re going to end, I’d rather end now than waste any more time hoping you’ll change.
  6. There are some things I won’t give up. If being with you stands in the way of me being a mother, then I’m sorry, but I won’t be choosing you. On the flip side, if you want a woman who’s just going to cook you dinner every night, clean your house and raise your children then you’re not the man for me. We both want certain things in this life, and just because I’m the woman doesn’t mean my dreams are any less important.
  7. The relationship already sounds like an ultimatum. If we’re together, then one of us won’t be getting the life we want. We either choose each other or we choose the lives we’ve always wanted. We’re staring down the barrel of a gun so we’re damned if we do and screwed if we don’t. We didn’t force this ultimatum, but if we stay together that’s the way it has to be.
  8. This isn’t happily ever after. I might love you, but that doesn’t mean being with you will make me happy. I need other things in my life — things that you don’t want. We should both be able to live the lives we’ve always dreamed of, even if that means we have to be apart.
  9. We’re better than settling. If we stay together, that’s the only way this ends — with one of us settling for the other. It’s not romantic, it’s tragic. Neither of us should have to settle. We both deserve to live the lives we want. We just might have to live those lives with other people.
  10. Love might be easy, but it shouldn’t be this hard. I know no relationship will be smooth sailing. There will always be bumps in the road, but this doesn’t feel like a small pothole. It feels like a pit that we can’t climb our way out of. Being in a relationship is never easy, but if it’s this hard, we just have to face the fact that we’re better off parting ways. We don’t want the same things and we never will. This relationship can’t work so as heartbreaking as it may be, I guess this is goodbye.
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.