The Downsides Of Being A Serial Monogamist

If you’re a serial monogamist, you probably don’t really know what it’s like to be single because you jump from relationship to relationship without much of a breather in between. You may think you’re living the dream by avoiding all those single people problems, but in reality, you’re actually missing out on quite a bit by always being in a relationship.

  1. You never get to be selfish. In a relationship you’re constantly forced to make compromises so both people are happy. It’s not a bad thing to have the ability to put other people’s needs before your own, but wouldn’t it be nice to get to do what you want and not have to answer to anyone for once?
  2. You might be afraid to be alone. The longer you avoid it, the harder it will be when you’re forced to be single. You’ve probably convinced yourself that any relationship is better than being alone, and that’s just not true.
  3. No one really takes your relationships seriously. Do you notice that when you tell your friends or family about your new boyfriend, they either barely react or just roll their eyes and chuckle? You’re pretty much the girl who cried boyfriend of your friend group, and everyone knows there’s no point in getting to know the guys you date because they’ll be gone before it will even matter.
  4. You’re always defined by who you’re with. You’ve never really bothered to develop any hobbies because you’ve never had the free time to do so. Instead of looking for a guy you’re compatible with, you contort your personality to fit what he wants, so you’re never really sure who you are when there’s no guy around to define you.
  5. You don’t know how to do things on your own. You’ve never had to go to a wedding without a date, or brave New Year’s Eve without a midnight kiss, or go on a trip solo. You’ve never been the single one, so you don’t understand the satisfaction of knowing, if necessary, you’re capable of being 100% independent and self sufficient.
  6. Your relationships mean less. Most people have had a few significant relationships in their lives. But if you get serious with every guy you date, milestones like meeting the parents, saying I love you, and your one year anniversary aren’t as exciting simply because they happen all the time.
  7. You probably fall in love too easily. These days there’s no need to commit fully to every guy you date. Dating a few guys at once is pretty acceptable, and it prevents you from getting attached too soon. When you put all your eggs in one basket, you expect a lot from that relationship and end up putting too much pressure on it to work out.
  8. You aren’t proud of some of the people you’ve dated. That desire to always be in a committed relationship has probably caused you to rush into something serious with guys you probably shouldn’t have. Now instead of being able to write the guy who still lived in his mom’s basement off as a fling, you actually have to count him as an ex because you dated him for six months and introduced him as your boyfriend.
  9. You go through a lot of breakups. And not just the mutual “it fizzled out” kind of breakup that usually results in ghosting, but actual “we need to talk” breakups. Whether you’re the dumper or the dumpee, breakups are emotionally draining, and it shouldn’t be something you go through on a regular basis.
  10. You have some unfinished business. Timing is a huge factor in whether a relationship works out or not. If you’re constantly dating guys without first getting over the last guy, you probably aren’t always giving them the fair shot they deserve. That means you’ll end up wondering at some point if a couple of them might have been right for you if you’d met them at a different time.
By day, Courtney is a digital marketing copywriter living in Toronto, Canada. By night, she's a freelance lifestyle writer who, in addition to, contributes regularly to, IN Magazine, and SheBlogs Canada. Want to chat about relationships, Stephen King or your favorite true crime podcast/documentary/book? She's on Twitter @courtooo.