Drunk-Dialing My Crush Helped Me Realize Some Important Things

Note to self: don’t carry your cell phone on a girls’ night out. I got totally boozed up and then drunk-dialed the guy I was crazy about. It’s embarrassing but I don’t regret it—here’s why.

  1. I needed liquid courage. They say if you wouldn’t do something sober, you shouldn’t do it drunk. Ah well, I couldn’t help myself. In a weird way, the courage I got from drinking that night pushed me to do something that had to be done but which I’d been too afraid to do.
  2. I let vodka do the talking. I’d been eating myself up for weeks, wanting to tell him how much I liked him and wanted to date him exclusively, but I always chickened out of it. So vodka took over for me that night. In a way, it felt freeing!
  3. When I woke up the next morning, I didn’t feel so great. I was badly hungover and hoped that what I thought I’d done had been a nightmare. Nope—there was proof on my phone. I called my crush and he left me three text messages. Yikes!
  4. I sobered up quickly. There’s nothing quite like rejection to make you sober up, and that’s exactly what happened to me. He apologized in the texts for not feeling the same way and explained that he just didn’t see us being together in an official relationship. Ouch! This hurt more than the ugly hangover headache.
  5. Did I just imagine his interest? Wait a minute. He had seemed really keen on me for weeks, we’d chatted a lot, gone out a few times, and kissed loads. He had clearly been leading me on! His words and actions were not on the same page. What a jerk.
  6. I felt stupid, yes, but at least I was honest. At least I’d had the guts to be open about my feelings. Maybe he didn’t really believe what I told him because I was so drunk, but I wasn’t about to take the coward’s way out and tell him it was all lies. I replied to his text and told him that I understood. I wasn’t proud of how I told him about my feelings, but I damn sure was proud of being honest. It was more than what he did for me.
  7. He obviously liked the chase. Looking back, he was especially interested in me when he first met me. He showered me with attention, but once we got to know each other a bit more, he slowed down a little (although he never left my life). He was always keen to meet up, so clearly he was just looking for what was convenient.
  8. It showed me his true colors. Booze can be a mask hiding people’s true identities, but in this case, it was doing the opposite—it was revealing his true identity and he hadn’t even had a sip! If I hadn’t got drunk and phoned him, I never would have learned the truth that he just wasn’t right for me. Things happen for a reason, even really embarrassing things.
  9. I deleted his number. This was not just to prevent me from drunk-dialing him in future (you never know what can happen) but also to push me to move on from him. I had to stop wasting my time and find someone who was really into me and wouldn’t cause me to have to resort to making a boozy call to him in the early hours of the morning so that I’d know where I stood with him.
  10. I now saw what my friends had seen. My friends told me that they didn’t see him as being right for me but I never listened. Whenever I told them I was going out with him, they wouldn’t show much excitement or they’d ask if I really believed that something would happen between us. Of course I did, but I was a fool. Now I realized how right they were.
  11. I was too available to him. Sadly, waiting around for this loser had meant that I totally missed out on romantic opportunities with other, better men. This experience taught me not to be too available to someone too quickly, and especially not someone who’s not making a real effort to be mine. I was drunk on the idea of him but it left me cold and alone.
  12. I lacked confidence. “Liquid courage” is not a myth—drinking alcohol really made me feel more confident and courageous enough to tell him how I felt. It’s sad that I had to use booze to be real and express myself, but it’s what happened and it showed me that I really needed to work on my confidence. So I guess that guy taught me something valuable after all.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.