Dudes Can Keep Their Flowers & Jewelry—Here’s How I Really Want To Be Spoiled

I don’t need a guy to buy me nice things. I have a good job and I make my own money—anything I want, I can buy myself. However, there are other ways of being spoiled that I can well and truly get on board with. Here’s what I wish a guy would do to show me how he feels.

1. Give me his time. If he dedicates time to me regularly no matter how busy life gets, it’s a sure sign that he cares. Actions definitely speak louder than words and if he’s creating time for me in his busy schedule then I know he’s feeling me as much as I’m feeling him.
2. Make a ton of effort. Dedicating time to me and putting in lots of effort go hand-in-hand but they’re also very different. It’s great for him to say that Tuesday will work for our date night, but leaving me to make all the arrangements is a no-no. He doesn’t have to buy me dinner; in fact, arranging that dinner and just giving me a time to be ready for so that he can come and pick me up to take me to the restaurant means so much more.
3. Pay attention to me. I don’t need him to send me a big bouquet of flowers in the mail to let me know that he’s there—I’d rather he give me his undivided attention when he’s on a date with me or when we’re spending time together. If he puts away his phone, leans in when I’m talking so that he can hear what I’m saying and doesn’t try to interrupt my stories just so that he can hear the sound of his own voice, he’s a keeper.
4. Shower me with compliments. Instead of getting me a physical gift, he can simply give me the gift of kindness. Buying something from a store is in no way meaningful or sentimental. However, if he regularly tells me how beautiful and amazing I am, that’s going to do so much more for me than anything material ever could. Sure, a new dress would make me feel good the first time I’d wear it, but boosting my self-esteem has a much deeper, long-lasting effect.
5. Be generous with his heart. I’m not talking about being generous with his money, I’m talking about being generous with his time, effort and above all, his heart. For instance, if I’ve had a long, hard day at work because I had to give an unexpected client presentation and the whole thing went horribly wrong, offering to rub my feet or tickle my back to de-stress me is going to make me so much more appreciative than if he just bought me a chocolate bar to cheer me up. Why? Because rubbing my feet or tickling my back requires effort, and the fact that he’s willing to make all that effort for me speaks volumes.
6. Give me affection. It doesn’t have to be constant PDA, but like I said before, showing his love says so much more than just absent-mindedly purchasing something from a store. Without affection, a couple is simply best friends—and who needs another best friend? I’d much rather have a lover.
7. Give me the good lovin’ (just the way I like it). This goes back to aiming for a guy who’s super attentive and generous rather than materialistic. After all, if he’s super attentive and generous, I’m more likely to enjoy other benefits, if you know what I mean. He doesn’t have to spoil me with physical things, but if he can spoil me in the bedroom, that’d be great. In fact, it’d be more than great. Not only would it keep me happy and fulfilled, it would bind us and make us stronger as a couple.
8. Be selflessly thoughtful. You could argue that buying someone a gift is thoughtful, and it is in a way. However, to me, there are other, better ways to achieve the same thing. He could arrange things in the diary that he knows that I’d appreciate, whether it’s a walk in the local park or a trip to go and see my sick uncle in the hospital. Any type of thoughtfulness is a nice gesture, don’t get me wrong, but more meaningful acts than just throwing money at something require a deeper level of thought.
9. Show me unwavering loyalty. If he’s always there for me and has my back 100% then I’ll happily skip a constant stream of gifts to avoid the alternative. The last thing I want to do is constantly worry about whether or not my guy is faithful in every way. No thanks.
10. Tell me how much he loves me. Finally, I’d prefer to have a guy in my life who spoils me with his words rather than his ability to buy nice gifts. If he does this, I’ll never have to wonder how he feels and that would make me happier than a lavish gift ever could. (Unless said lavish gift is from Tiffany’s—that’s another story.)