Sometimes you can tell from the early days of dating someone whether or not they’re going to be good for your mental health. If your partner’s already showing you any of these 10 signs, they’re going to bring stress to your life and it’s just not worth it.
They’re a drama magnet.
Does it seem like the person you’ve started dating attracts a lot of drama, whether at work, social circle, or even with their family? It’s enough to deal with your own life and stress. You really don’t need anyone else’s drama!
They’re negative about everything.
It’s fine to talk about your life on the first date, but dumping all your problems on someone you barely know as if they’re your therapist isn’t cool. If the person can’t seem to snap out of negative mode, chances are it’s a part of their personality. Isn’t this when you’re supposed to make a great impression on someone? Someone clearly didn’t get the memo.
Do they not text within a reasonable amount of time but instead leave you hanging? If the person’s already doing this when you don’t even know them, that’s a bad sign they’re going to keep you hanging even more in the future. You don’t need that uncertainty. Same goes for if they can never commit to a date until the last minute. When future plans come up, they’re going to leave you biting your nails and wondering if they’re even going to pitch. You deserve better than that.
They’re weird around your friends.
If they’re a load of laughs around you but become snarky or sulky around your friends, that’s not only uncomfortable but points to a frustrating future. Sure, they might be shy, but if this is a regular occurrence, then they’re being shady. Same goes for if they change for the negative when their friends are around.
They’re fussy about labels.
When you ask them what they’re looking for in the dating game and they don’t seem to know or want to tell you, that’s not a good sign. Everyone knows what they want and it’s usually either to date exclusively or date casually. If someone is that confused about what they’re doing on a date with you, they’re just wasting your time.
They can’t talk about their ex.
Everyone has baggage. Maybe your date just can’t seem to talk about their relationship baggage because it’s that painful. Fine, but they can get in line because everyone’s got a heartbreaking story. Anyway, it’s a whole other drama that you don’t need in your life if they never open up yet their ex is their “friend” or they get angry when you ask them about their past. They’re being mysterious and secretive, leaving you wondering what they’re hiding.
They’re a human stress ball.
What’s the energy like around this person? Do you feel like they’re constantly anxious, frazzled, and overwhelmed but not doing anything to feel better? That’s a major red flag and not something you need in your life.
They’re so distant it hurts.
Obviously the person you’ve started dating doesn’t have to be an open book. But if it’s been weeks of dating and they still won’t share their email address or last name with you, it’s insulting. It’s like they’ve decided to keep you at arm’s length. Why are they even keeping you in their life? What, is it just convenient?
They’re making you feel fluttery.
It’s not cool if you’re always feeling like your heart’s racing or you’re jumpy around your partner. Sure, those butterflies are awesome when you start dating someone new and interesting, but if you get heart palpitations because they’re always making you feel anxious, then that’s a sign your body’s stressed. Listen to it because it’s just going to get worse the more you hang out with this person.
They need their hand held.
And not in a PDA way, which would’ve been totally cool and romantic. If a guy’s so insecure that he always needs your help for every little thing when he barely even knows you, that points to him being a needy, insecure guy who you’re better off not dating. What, does he need a babysitter? A psychologist, perhaps? Not here for that!
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