You can complain about the single life all that you want — and trust me, there’s plenty to complain about — but being in a serious relationship isn’t any easier. In fact, I’m pretty sure it’s much harder to be a good girlfriend than it is to be single. Here’s why:
- You’t can’t cancel plans. When you’re single, you can reschedule nights out with your friends or even dates with men you met on Tinder. When you’re in a relationship, you can’t tell your boyfriend you’re too hungover to attend the big dinner with his parents he had planned. Well, you can, but he won’t be all that happy about it.
- You can’t masturbate over anything and everything. When you’re single, you can masturbate without worrying about being judged. When you’re in a relationship, you’ll occasionally feel a tinge of guilt when you touch yourself while thinking about your harmless office crush. You know your boyfriend wouldn’t be happy about your little fantasy.
- You can’t flirt around. When you’re single, you can flirt with the bartender to pass the time, flirt with your coworkers to get a confidence boost, and flirt with cops to get out of a ticket. When you have a boyfriend, people will look at you weird if you so much as mention how attractive another man is.
- You can’t disappear. When you’re single, you can ignore a guy’s texts and he can’t really do anything about it. When you’re in a relationship, you have to keep in constant contact with your boyfriend. If you forget to tell him that you’re going to be staying at the office late, then you’re going to be in the doghouse for the rest of the week.
- You can’t be a total slob. When you’re single, you don’t have to take great care of your apartment or your bikini area, because they won’t have many visitors. When you’re in a relationship, your boyfriend won’t be happy if you have an empty fridge, a bed filled with crumbs and an overly hairy downstairs area. You actually have to take care of yourself.
- You can’t be a hermit. When you’re single, you can lock yourself away in your room when you’re not feeling up to going out. When you’re in a relationship, your boyfriend will expect you to go out with his friends on weekends. If you turn down the offer one too many times, you’ll end up looking like a bitch.
- You can’t do whatever the hell you want. When you’re single, you can get away with pretty much anything. When you’re in a relationship, your boyfriend won’t be happy if you take an impromptu vacation without him or quit your job without talking it over with him first. Your impulsiveness will be a thing of the past.
- You can’t complain. When you’re single, no one minds if you complain about all of the losers you’ve been dealing with at bars. When you’re in a relationship, some of your friends will tell you to stop whining about minuscule things, because you’re lucky you’re not alone. You’ve lost your right to complain, just because you have a boyfriend.
