I Edit Dating Profiles For A Living—Here’s What You’re Doing Wrong

About a year ago, I started editing dating app profiles as one of my many side hustles. This has made me an expert on what makes people want to message someone and also what drives them away. Check out some of the most common dating profile mistakes I’ve seen so you can make sure you don’t make them.

  1. Writing a novel in your “about me” section People swipe through dozens of profiles in a very short period of time. You want to make sure yours stands out, so keep your profile short and to the point. Don’t reveal everything about yourself too fast. Your cat’s name, what you do for a living and a list of places you’ve lived are all probably best to save for the first date. Leaving some questions unanswered will give whoever swipes past your profile a reason to want to message you and find out more. Air of mystery and all that.
  2. Mentioning your ex in your profile Just like on a first date, you should avoid talking about your ex at all costs. Refrain from mentioning your breakup or talking about personality traits that you’re hoping to avoid in your next partner. It might scare some people. Don’t be afraid to wipe the slate clean and start fresh.
  3. Writing self-deprecating statements I always cringe when I’m editing a woman’s dating profile and I see sentences like “I’m not the skinniest” or “I’m no model, but…” Confidence is literally scientifically proven to be one of the sexiest traits a person can have. You’re a bad bitch, and any random Tinder dude would be lucky to have you swipe right on him. Now act like it.
  4. Making yourself seem like a total sadsack/desperate for love Steer clear of statements like “I don’t have any luck on dating apps” or “I’ve been single for five years, so I thought I would give this a try.” Not only does this come off as self-deprecating, any slimy dudes reading it will see this as an opening to be creepy or rude to you, and nobody has time for that.
  5. Admitting that “I don’t know what I’m doing on here” or “I don’t know how these things work” I see this so often. These statements take up space, don’t tell your potential matches anything, and make you seem unsure of yourself. If you don’t know what to say, instead of literally writing that on your profile, spend a little time thinking about it before you write something. If you can’t think of anything you think is clever enough, no worries! There’s nothing wrong with just listing some things you like, i.e. “Moved from Florida two years ago. Likes: pizza, dancing, the beach. Dislikes: drama, math, Adam Sandler movies.”
  6. Uploading too many pictures Putting up too many pictures makes it look like you’re trying too hard. Remember the whole “air of mystery” thing? That still applies here. Pick four of your best pictures and use those. A picture of you on Machu Picchu or that picture of you last weekend where your hair looks really good and you’re holding a Bloody Mary? Definitely use those. Three pictures from the same night where you’re clearly wearing the same dress? Pick one to use and save the rest for something else.
  7. Not uploading enough pictures Since there are legit a lot of fake profiles on dating sites, using only one selfie might make you look like you’re a bot. Just like putting up too many pictures makes it seem like you’re trying too hard, not using enough pictures makes it seem like you’re hiding something. You’re cute AF, so show it off! (With no more than four pictures.)
  8. Putting up pictures of you and your hot male cousin or you and your friend’s baby Because people are looking through so many profiles in a short period of time, if they see anything that looks sketchy, they’re likely to just move onto the next one. If you put up any pictures that make it seem like you might have a boyfriend or a child, people might assume and skip past your profile. Of course, if you do have a child, put up as many pictures of you and your little one as you want! You just don’t want to give anybody the wrong idea.
  9. Using mostly group photos It’s OK to put up a selfie with your bestie or have one photo with you on a night out with your friends, but if most of your photos are with other people in them, someone swiping through your profile really quickly might not know which one you are.
  10. Putting up pictures without you in it Yes, your dog is adorable, but a picture of just your dog tells potential matches nothing about you. Although you should avoid using only selfies, make sure that you’re clearly in all of the pictures you upload so that people can see who they’re talking to.
Jessica was born in Santa Cruz, California. She writes about travel, sex, and dating. When she's not writing, she likes dancing, people watching, sunsets, and eating all the cheesy foods.