I’m No Longer Embarrassed To Use One Guy To Get Over Another One

I’ve been a stereotypical “nice girl” my entire life, but it’s not getting me anywhere. Why should I worry so much about guys’ feelings when it seems like they don’t care all that much anyway? I’m done tiptoeing around them.

  1. Guys don’t care as much as I think they do. A lot of men might even be stoked to be used as a rebound. It’s the perfect situation if they don’t want to commit or stay around all that long. I thought it was mean to use a guy I don’t like that much to help me get over someone else, but I decided as long as I’m honest, it’s fair game.
  2. If it’s casual, no one is getting hurt. Communication is always key, but if I establish in the beginning that it’s not anything serious, it’ll be fine. Of course, I can’t control the possibility that the dude may develop feelings. I also could surprise myself and start liking him. As long as we monitor where we both stand and we’re forthcoming, it should be OK.
  3. I’m tired of being pathetic. I have to stop pining over guys who don’t want me and in order to do that, I need a way to make myself move on. Trying to do so without any other distraction isn’t working. I need a new dude in my life to occupy my mind (and to snuggle) so I stop thinking about the one I can’t have.
  4. Sometimes it’s the only way to get over someoneIt’s surprising how much easier it is to get over love when I simply decide I’m going to see someone else for a while. Even if it doesn’t work out, it gets me through that period of sadness that would normally feel like a hellish struggle. I’m usually terrible at doing this, so I’ve made up my mind to just jump in. All bets are off.
  5. Let’s be real, neither guy will be mad at it. I’d like to believe that men think about everything as deeply as I do, but the reality is that very few of them do. The guy I’m trying to get over won’t care—he hardly even knows I exist. The one I’m using to move on is going to get laid without having to commit. Doesn’t sound like such a bad deal, now does it? I have to face the truth that men don’t always think with their brains.
  6. I’m tired of always worrying about others when they don’t return the favor. If a guy was ever as careful of my feelings as I am of his, I’d be floored. I definitely overthink my choices when it comes to men. They do stuff without thinking all the time! Well, now it’s my turn. Two can play that game.
  7. It’s too tough to care so much. It’s mostly wasted effort anyway. No one knows or cares when I’m racking my brain about the best way to behave. They’re all off living their own lives, so I might as well enjoy myself. It will probably all turn out better than I think it will, and even if it doesn’t, at least I was spontaneous.
  8. I need the distraction so badly. I’m busy, but the problem is that a lot of my work is flexible enough that my mind drifts away. This means that the guy I’m trying to get over is in my head way too frequently. I’m too good at mentally multitasking. I’m going to seize the day, seize a new dude, and get on with my life.
  9. It’ll remind me that I’m worthy of attention. To be quite frank, I’m in need of a confidence boost. I need to be treated like I’m attractive and desirable—I’ve almost forgotten what that’s like. I’m a confident and independent woman, but it sucks to go for so long feeling invisible to the opposite sex. I’m down for whichever guy wants to make me feel like the hottest girl around.
  10. I don’t care what people think of me. When I was younger, I was stressed about how others viewed me and therefore made a lot of decisions based on that insecurity. Now I’m more worried about doing what’s best for me. I finally realize that most people are far too absorbed in their own lives to give a damn what’s going on with mine.
  11. Life is too short to have such high morals. I wish I’d lowered my standards a long time ago, to be honest, because I think they’ve kept me from having a lot of fun. I’ve always been too serious. I need to relax, get my rebound on, and know that as long as I’m honest, it’ll all be okay.
  12. I don’t need to be in love to enjoy myself. I used to have such a hopelessly romantic view of relationships and intimacy. I never wanted to sleep with anyone I didn’t love. Now I know that if I live that way, I’m probably going to go a long time without getting laid. That sucks and I want to have good sex while I’m still young enough to do so.
A former actress who has always loved the art of the written word, Amy is excited to be here sharing her stories! She just completed her first novel, and is also a contributor for Elite Daily, Dirty & Thirty, and Thought Catalog. Amy is the founder of What If Journey and can be found on Twitter @amyhorton18. You can also visit her website at amyhorton.net.