How To Embrace The Single Life Without Getting Too Comfortable

How To Embrace The Single Life Without Getting Too Comfortable ©iStock/sanjeri

Being single is such a catch-22: you want to enjoy your life and build yourself up, but you also want to meet the love of your life (preferably sooner rather than later, thank you very much). However, it’s possible to love your solo lifestyle so much that you never want to date, and that’s not great if you really do want to find a partner. Here’s how to embrace the single life but not get too comfortable there:

  1. Pick your poison. Your preferred dating method, that is. Maybe you’re all about the swipe left/right freedom of Tinder or you want the detailed messages of OKCupid. Maybe you enjoy getting set up by your friends, coworkers and crazy relatives. Maybe you like meeting guys in bars (old-school, but still effective). Of course you can use all of these, but if you want to simplify your life and still appreciate being single, it’s OK to just use one.
  2. Limit yourself to one date a week. This is the best way of making sure your weeknights and weekends aren’t completely taken over by first dates (AKA bad dates, let’s be honest). Yet you’ll still be in the game. The dates will add up – four a month, eight in two months, etc. but you’ll still be able to enjoy your regular life. It’s the best of both worlds.
  3. Live like you could fall in love tomorrow. I’ve made a pretty interesting observation lately and it’s especially interesting because it’s not gender-specific: single people like to act like they’re way too busy to date. But it’s more than that. Whether it’s a good friend or a guy I go on one date with, I’ve encountered lots of people who think entering into a relationship would seriously mess up their routine/schedule. Instead of worrying about missing your fave yoga class on Sunday morning, keep part of your schedule open enough that you’ll be thrilled when you click with a guy instead of stressing.
  4. Have some guilty pleasures. Of course you can still live your life and do what you love when you do find your next relationship – no guy should stop you from that. But part of the thrill of being a single girl is being unashamed about your guilty pleasures. I love curling up on the couch with The Real Housewives of Orange County or Felicity, telling myself to enjoy it because I can.
  5. Write your own story. Some people love to tell others that they’re single because they’re focusing on their career (the oldest line in the book, right?). Others truly believe they just haven’t met their person yet. Write your own single story by choosing a statement (or Housewives-style tagline, if you’re into that) and sticking to it. It’ll clear up the confusion for yourself and your nearest and dearest and you’ll hopefully have to stop talking about why you’re still unattached. Hopefully.
  6. Realize neither side has it easy. When we’re attached we think single girls are so free and fun. When we’re alone we think life would be so much simpler if we could just find a guy. Guess what? Neither one is right. It’s difficult to build a life with someone and it’s hard to be alone. If you can let go of your expectations about how perfect your life will be once you’re in a relationship, you won’t expect someone to sweep you off your feet – but it would be nice if it happened.
  7. Stop waiting to actually live. We always think, “Oh, I’ll do that next year.” The next year arrives and we still put off writing that novel, going on that vacation, telling our best guy friend how we actually feel. Stop waiting for your life to begin when you’re no longer single – you can still live right here and now, even if it’s just you in your tiny but adorable apartment. Then your new boyfriend will be a happy bonus.
  8. Don’t plan for singledom forever. You’re making money and killing it at your career, so of course it might make sense to buy a condo and stop renting. While it’s true that you can do whatever you want and it’s much easier to make major life changes when it’s just you, if you’re serious about finding real love then you have to plan to find someone soon. Maybe stay in your place until you can move in with someone.
  9. Fall in love with change. Starting a new relationship is all about change. Your life will change, your routine will change, your perspective and thoughts and emotion will all change. You could date someone for two weeks and then realize you hate them. You could have a million almost relationships or be with someone from the first date until forever. Be open to change and you’ll find happiness for however long you’re still single for.
Aya Tsintziras is a freelance lifestyle writer and editor from Toronto, Canada. In addition to writing about dating and relationships for Bolde, she also writes about movies, TV, and video games for ScreenRant and GameRant. She has a Political Science degree from the University of Toronto and a Masters of Journalism from Ryerson University. You can find her on Twitter @ayatsintziras and on Instagram @aya.tsintziras.
close-link
close-link
close-link
close-link