When I came out of my previous long-term relationship, I remember feeling like I’d been living under a rock for four years. So much had happened in the outside world during that time, but it took me a while to realize I’d missed out on things because I was so deep in the relationship bubble. Once I was out, some pretty great things happened.
I HAVE SO MUCH ALONE TIME—WHAT IS THIS SORCERY?
When I was stuck in my dead-end relationship, I didn’t have time for anything that didn’t involve him. There was always something to do, whether it was help my ex buy groceries or hold his hand at his uncle’s friend’s BBQ. I missed out on so much “me” time because I had to put so much energy and focus elsewhere. When the relationship ended, I had SO much time to myself. I went from being around someone 24/7 to having all the time in the world to focus on little ol’ me. It was a revelation!
I CAN STARFISH IN BED NOW.
Any woman who says she doesn’t mind sharing a bed every night with someone else is flat out lying. Who doesn’t love starfishin’? It’s the best. Gone are the days that I had to stick to my side of the bed and watch my spatial awareness (which I suck at, BTW). Now I can stretch out as much as I want to! And what about all that peace and quiet that comes with it? Oh, it’s lush. So long, snoring bed buddy!
WOW, MY FRIENDS REALLY DO CARE
. It’s amazing how much your support system rallies around you as soon as you cut that relationship cord. When my friends were talking me through the bad spells, they cared but I could tell that they were getting bored with me complaining about my relationship problems all the time. Then, when they heard that I’d finally broken free from said relationship, it was like they were almost as relieved as I was. They showered me with love and attention, planning girls’ nights out, trips away, and fun evenings in with a bottle of wine since they knew that these would be welcome distractions. They completely bossed it.
IT’S NICE TO HANG OUT WITH OTHER PEOPLE.
Not that I didn’t spend time with other people before, but I suddenly so much spare time to simply hang out once I became single again. I didn’t mean to, but I think I neglected some friendships when I was in my relationship bubble. It happens to the best of us! I can now focus my attentions elsewhere and re-connect with people who I’d perhaps unintentionally ignored while I was in a relationship.
I can finally do what I want when I want.
Now that I’m a singleton, I can do whatever the hell I want. If I want to text that hot guy from work, I can. If I want to dance provocatively with my gals on a single ladies night out, I will. If I want to stalk hot dudes who are strangers on Instagram and randomly like their photos, then why not? Now there’s no one to answer to, and that’s a pretty liberating feeling.
There are so many hot guys. HOW DID I NOT NOTICE THIS BEFORE?
As well as living under a rock for four years, it felt like I was on a different planet. It’s unbelievable how many hot guys there are around. When I was in the relationship bubble, I never realized this, and that’s because I purposely didn’t look. I was that consumed with my then-boyfriend that I didn’t allow myself to even think of the other possibilities. But now I can! I can flirt with the hottie over here, I can slip my number to the cute bartender over there, and I can even engage in some fun swiping activity on Tinder if I so wish! Look at me go!
I can do all the things I couldn’t when I was coupled up.
Sometimes, without realizing it, being in a relationship can hold you back. That backpacking trip I’ve always wanted to take? I can do it now. That promotion that I’ve always wanted to accept across the country? I can up and move now. That single gals vacation my friends keep bugging me about? I can totally go on it—and not just go on it, but go wild! There’s no one else’s needs to put before mine anymore. I can focus on looking after and satisfying myself and it’s great.
Sex is still awesome with other people.
Nothing’s changed since I’ve been in a relationship, but I worried at first that it might have. I almost panicked that I wouldn’t be any good in the sack anymore. I got so used to doing it with the same person that I figured I’d gotten too comfortable. Turns out, I’m still pretty good and sex is still pretty amazing—and honestly, probably even better—with other guys.
I CAN’T WAIT TO SEE WHAT THE FUTURE HOLDS.
Now that one chapter of my life has ended, I’m so excited to see what will happen in the next instalment. Life is full of possibility again. I have no idea who I’ll end up with next but that’s half the fun of it! Sure, the future is uncertain, but anything can happen, and that makes me feel more alive than ever.
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