Enough With Shallow Relationships—I Need Someone With Depth

I’m probably just old school, but I’m so over relationships with no real depth to them. I’m a complex person, so why would I settle on a guy who has no interests other than the brand of clothes he wears or how I look in my profile picture? I’m so over it—you can find me over here waiting on a guy who’s actually interesting.

THE INTERNET RUINED DATING

When dating stopped being face-to-face and started being screen-to-screen, we forgot that we’re real people, not just a bio. The expectations for online relationships keep going down with each new app that’s introduced. Just because you didn’t meet them in person doesn’t mean they’re going to be easier to get. You still have to be a quality person, even if you find them through technology.

WE VALUE APPEARANCE OVER EVERYTHING. 

Obviously, when you’re on an app like Tinder or even just scrolling through someone’s Instagram, you’re paying attention to looks before anything else. It’s fine to be attracted to someone based on their appearance, but what comes after that? If all someone sees when they look at me is my Instagram photo, we aren’t going to get anywhere.

WE’RE SETTLING FOR INSTANT GRATIFICATION. 

There’s no doubt about it—sex rules this generation. In a time where sex is so easy to find, why would we take the time to develop ourselves into awesome people if we don’t have to? All you need is a cute profile picture and a bio that includes something about a hookup and you’re bound to find someone. I want someone who can’t be summed up in a bio or one stupid Tinder date.

AESTHETIC RULES OVER REALITY. 

I don’t care what brand of clothes they’re wearing or what obscure type of music they’re into. If they’re worried about how they’re perceived by other people and live for the likes, I’m not interested. I want someone who’s unapologetically themselves who doesn’t change for other people. I don’t care if they’re cool to their Twitter following, I want to know the real them.

I’M NOT LOOKING FOR SOMEONE PERFECT

Being a person with depth doesn’t mean you have to be a perfect dream guy/girl—depth means you’ve probably had a lot of experiences—good or bad. I just want someone who can learn from those mistakes and be a better person because of it. Being your own person has a lot to do with the things you’ve gone through, and I want someone who owns their experiences.

I WANT SOMEONE A LITTLE COMPLICATED. 

Being one-dimensional is so overrated. I want someone who’s a little all over the place and has real highs and lows. I want to get inside their mind and explore their soul through the ups and downs of real life. I’m not a simple person and I want someone who isn’t afraid of being their own brand of hot mess from time to time. In fact, I’ll probably find them that much more attractive when they can embrace the crazy in their own soul.

I NEED REAL CONVERSATION. 

I’m tired of stupid, one-way conversations that don’t go anywhere. I want someone to talk to me about their family, their friends, the town they grew up in. I want to hear about their goals, the ex who broke their heart, the interests they keep to themselves. I bond over conversation and I want someone who I can really share my life story with. No more “what’s up” texts, okay? I want a “let’s talk about life” call.

BEING YOUR OWN PERSON IS SO ATTRACTIVE. 

No one has any originality anymore —everyone dresses alike, listens to the same music, goes to the same parties. I want someone who isn’t afraid to look a little uncool or out-of-the-loop for doing their own thing. No one ever changed the world by going with the flow—it’s the people who are going against the grain who are remembered. Nothing thrills me more than being with someone who will go against the flow with me and live like it’s an adventure.

IF WE DON’T HAVE DEPTH, I’LL GET BORED. 

This speaks for itself—if there’s nothing there, that’s it. It probably won’t take more than a few days for me to be bored with someone if they think existing is enough to keep me around. I’m addicted to people who lift up my soul, and if they’re bringing it down, I just won’t be around very long.

I’M READY FOR MORE. 

I’ve worked so hard to become the person I am and I don’t want to settle for someone who isn’t on the same wavelength as me. I’m ready for someone who challenges me to be better, encourages me to be myself and wants to grow in our adventures together. I’ve already made up my mind that I’m not going to sell myself short. I’m selective with the people I keep in my life, and my love life should be no exception. Here’s to waiting for the man out there who will inspire me to shine, not dull my light.

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