The Essential Guide To Handling His Mixed Signals

The Essential Guide To Handling His Mixed Signals ©iStock/Alija

Can’t he just say what he wants? One minute he’s hot and the next he’s cold — is it something you said or did? Who the hell knows? While I can’t tell you what he’s thinking, I can help you learn to handle his mixed signals a little better. It takes patience, but it’s better than losing your own head.

Whether you’re trying to see if he’s interested or you’ve been together for years, take a deep breath and stop stressing. After this, his mixed signals won’t bother you anymore.

  1. Don’t go crazy just yet. Stop overanalyzing right now! He broke off a date with you to hang out with his friends, sure, but that doesn’t mean he’s cheating. Maybe he’s being an idiot or maybe one of his friends is going through something. Keep calm and don’t read too much in to it. Odds are, he doesn’t even realize he’s done anything wrong.
  2. Call in reinforcements. What are friends for if you can’t go to them for advice? Ask them what they think. They see the situation from the outside and get their unbiased opinion. It’ll calm you down and clear up the confusion.
  3. Take things at face value. Why is he friends with that cute redhead on Facebook? Why did he mean when he said he was busy tonight? First things first: don’t stalk your man on Facebook. Second, guys usually aren’t that complex. If you’re not sure about something, just take it at face value. If something’s really going on, it’ll be clear soon enough.
  4. Realize that he has a life, too. Your guy did have a life before you. I know — that’s amazing, right? He has responsibilities, friends and family. He can’t always be at your beck and call. Missing a date, not responding immediately to a text or seeming a little moody aren’t reasons to suspect anything’s wrong. It might be annoying sometimes, but life gets in the way. Deal with it and quit freaking out.
  5. What signals are you sending? We’re the masters of mixed signals. From hormones to playing hard to get, guys live in a state of confusion. Is he really the one sending mixed signals or is he just trying to figure you out? Think about the signals you’re sending and be more clear. It might just make him more clear, too.
  6. Ask what he means. I usually like the most obvious solution myself. It saves time, and I don’t get so stressed out. It’s great. Not sure what’s going on? Ask him.
  7. Give it a little time. He might just be having a crap day at work or he’s dealing with family issues. Guys aren’t exactly open about what’s going on in their lives. If the mixed signals just started, give it a little time. He might just need some space to deal with his own personal demons.
  8. Avoid the drama at all costs. Don’t turn mixed signals into a drama fest. Cornering him about every action he takes is just going to piss him off. If he’s playing games with you, let him play by himself. Who needs drama, anyway?
  9. Ignore any unclear signals. I also love this approach. Not sure what he means? Ignore it. He’ll either be more clear or he’ll ask you what’s going on. Either way, problem solved.
  10. Laugh them off. If he’s giving you mixed signals, he’s confused, too. Laugh off his weird actions with your friends. No, you still won’t know what the hell’s going on, but you’ll handle it better.
  11. Back away if it’s too confusing. I don’t have time for anyone who’s nothing but mixed signals. You’ve tried patience, so if he’s still not being clear, get out. He obviously doesn’t know what he wants. When he figures things out, he can give you a call to see if you’re still available.
  12. Think about what’s going on. Are you acting any different? Are there any major changes in his life? The signals might be much clearer with a little context. Think about everything that’s currently going on in both of your lives. The answer could be right in front of you.
  13. Make what you want obvious. I had one guy confront me saying he honestly wasn’t sure what I wanted. I thought I was being clear, but I apparently wasn’t. His mixed signals could just be him trying to get you to be clearer. Tell him what you want so he doesn’t have to guess.
Crystal Crowder is a freelance writer and blogger. She's a tech geek at heart, but loves telling it like it is when it comes to love, beauty and style. She's enjoys writing music, poetry and fiction and curling up with a great book. You can find her on Twitter @ccrowderwrites or check out her other writing on Medium.