Even Though I Don’t Want A Boyfriend, I Miss These 18 Things About Having One

I always want to have my cake and eat it too. For example, I miss all the benefits of having a man in my life but I don’t really want to deal with everything else that a relationship entails. I’m going to stay single because boyfriends can be a pain—but I do miss these perks of dating life:

  1. Making out There’s nothing like a good old-fashioned make out session with a guy I’m super into. It’s more fun than sex sometimes, even. I miss the butterflies and anticipation that come along with dating a guy who’s a great kisser and clearly into kissing me in particular.
  2. Cuddling I love to cuddle and I might miss it more than anything else about dating. I’m big on physical affection and I crave it when I’m not getting it. I miss hugs and holding hands and simply being snuggled up in a man’s arms. It feels amazing.
  3. Mutual massages One of my favorite things about dating is trading back rubs—I love getting them and I actually love giving them as well. I’ve only had a few boyfriends who were awesome enough to massage my back and feet after a long day and I still miss it.
  4. Inside jokes I have them with my friends, of course, but it’s not the same as with a partner. I always get more silly and more intimate with my guy and our jokes are often super obscure but very special to us. I love having that kind of rapport.
  5. Sex with someone I love Sex is great when two people are good at it, yeah, but it’s just better when there are feelings involved. I always walk away from sex with a new guy feeling… well, unfulfilled and a little weird. It’s not as fun for me, no matter what.
  6. Having a reliable partner in crime  No matter how close I am with my friends, we definitely have separate lives. A dedicated, committed boyfriend is way more likely to go on spontaneous adventures with me. I miss having someone around who’s down to explore whatever, wherever, whenever.
  7. Having A movie buddy I hardly ever watch movies when I’m single. I don’t care about going out and seeing them, but I also get bored watching them on my couch alone. I miss movie dates and cuddling in the theater, or even better, snuggling at home and watching them.
  8. Telling someone about my day When it comes down to it, a boyfriend is pretty much the only person I’d actually give a run-down of my day. I’d be too worried about boring someone else, plus I rarely talk to my friends in-depth that frequently. I don’t have a roommate either, so I don’t get to vent or share little exciting tidbits anymore.
  9. Romantic gestures Not all guys are romantic, but when you get one who is, it’s awesome! I miss little love notes and presents and flowers for no particular reason. I miss having someone in my life who remembers the little things and surprises me when I least expect it. I’m a hopeless romantic forever.
  10. Giggling in bed I love doing silly things with the person I love. There’s nothing like lying in bed together laughing your heads off about nothing at all. It’s one of the best feelings in the world to be so happy with someone that you feel comfortable acting like a mad person because he’ll love you anyway.
  11. Lazy mornings Lazy mornings are always nice, but there’s something about dozing in the early sunlight in the arms of the guy you’re dating. It’s a warm and fuzzy feeling that has no real equal. Sleeping in and cuddling with a special person sure beats lying in bed alone dreading the sound of the alarm.
  12. Cooking together I’ve never enjoyed preparing meals, but it can be really fun to do it with someone else. It becomes a collaborative and creative experience instead of a means to an end. I’ve spent hours cooking with guys, laughing and listening to music and playing around, never once getting bored.
  13. Having a shoulder to lean on I never want to rely too much on my friends for support. I love them and they love me, but I still don’t want to be a burden. We all have complicated lives. It’s different with a partner – there’s a deep element of trust and it feels great to know that I have that in moments of darkness.
  14. Someone who has my back It’s awesome to date a guy and know that he has my back as much as I have his. It doesn’t always happen, but I adore that feeling of security and comfort with another person. I love being single but I do miss being fully supported and encouraged by a partner.
  15. Sweet physical gestures It’s the little things – holding hands, an arm around the waist, reassuring little squeezes, even a naughty butt pinch here and there. I yearn for all of it. My favorite and most missed gesture? A guy brushing the hair away from my cheek right before he kisses me. The. Best.
  16. Pet nicknames I’m a dork and I always have a little pet name for the guy I’m dating, if not 10 of them. I love using our nicknames with each other—it’s a fun little inside thing that no one else understands. It feels private and sweet and intimate.
  17. Play-fighting A little wrestling and pillow fighting can be a good time! It’s just another way to connect, be silly, and bond. I always enjoy a little mock fighting with the person I’m dating – it just makes the other stuff even sweeter. Nothing wrong with a bit of banter or harmless fun.
  18. Showering together There’s something uniquely nurturing about taking a shower with a significant other and washing each other’s hair and bodies. It’s loving and sweet and attentive and it forces you to be up close and personal in a different way. It can obviously lead to other kinds of fun too!
A former actress who has always loved the art of the written word, Amy is excited to be here sharing her stories! She just completed her first novel, and is also a contributor for Elite Daily, Dirty & Thirty, and Thought Catalog. Amy is the founder of What If Journey and can be found on Twitter @amyhorton18. You can also visit her website at amyhorton.net.
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