Even If The Truth Hurts, I’ll Always Respect It More Than A Lie

I’ve been with a man who never told me the truth. He never told me how he really felt, only what he thought I wanted to hear. He thought that would make me happy but in the end, it just made our relationship feel like one big lie. If you want to be with me, don’t sugarcoat your feelings — tell me the truth because that’s the only thing I want to hear.

  1. I can handle it. Just because I’m a girl doesn’t mean I’m overly sensitive. That’s some sexist logic right there. So lay it on me. Give me the dirty details — trust me, I can handle it. The more truth you give, the more I’ll be able to take and the fewer lies you’ll have to tell. Isn’t that better for both of us?
  2. I’ve been with my fair share of liars. I’m so done dating guys who don’t know how to just be honest with me. It just makes everything more complicated and a hell of a lot more confusing. I don’t need another man in my life that’s going to lie to me. Been there, done that, and I’m over it. I’m ready for a man who can be brutally honest with me. The real question is, are you ready for that?
  3. Relationships are built on trust. I don’t know how I’m supposed to have a relationship built on lies. I want a man I can depend on to tell me the truth. If you tell me one lie now, how do I know everything else you’ve said hasn’t been a series of lies too? And further, how do I know your feelings for me aren’t some big lie? I need a foundation of trust or I’ll never be confident in you.
  4. I want to know how you really feel. You’re entitled to your opinion, even if that opinion might hurt my feelings from time to time. No matter what the situation, I’d always rather know how you really feel. Lies might make me feel better for a short while but in the long run, when I find out the truth the fact that you lied will hurt even more.
  5. I want to be with someone who can take real honesty too. I’m a brutally honest person and I don’t want to have to constantly apologize for that. For me, most people are just too sensitive. I want someone who can handle the truth just like I can. I don’t want to live my life trying not to step on toes and constantly worrying about everyone else’s feelings. I want to be able to be free to speak the truth and say how I feel, especially in a relationship.
  6. My ego isn’t so easily bruised. I have pretty thick skin, which means you don’t need to sugarcoat your words with me. I know how to take criticism, so stop looking at me like I’m so fragile. I won’t break with the truth and your honesty won’t make me crack at my seams. I’m pretty damn tough, and the only way you’ll ever know that is if you at least try being honest with me.
  7. I want to know that we’re on the same page. If I’m not “The One” for you, I’d rather know that now before it’s too late. I need a man who won’t tell me he loves me if he doesn’t really mean it. Sometimes I’m going to feel one way and you’re going to feel another, but even if we disagree honesty will put everything out in the open and that’s how we’ll stay on the same page. I just want to know the truth, even when it’s hard to hear.
  8. I want a man I can count on. That includes counting on you to tell me the truth. How can I depend on you when I’m questioning whether or not every word that comes out of your mouth is a lie? I need to be able to count on you to tell me the good and the bad. You need to be the person I can count on to tell me the truth in a world filled with lies. It’s a lot to ask, but don’t you want the same?
  9. I live in reality. Telling me what I want to hear vs. telling me what’s real just allows me to live in some BS fantasy. I choose to live in the real world, therefore, I need a man who can be straight with me. This isn’t a fairytale, this is real life, and in my opinion, it’s so much better because telling the truth definitely makes life a lot less boring.
  10. There are no little lies. Little white lies turn into big lies of betrayal. So where do you draw the line? How am I supposed to decipher what’s true from what’s false? You tell me one lie and then you tell me one truth, but how am I supposed to know that’s true when you lied seconds before? If you tell me one lie, every word becomes a lie, because now in my mind I can’t be confident your words are ever true.
  11. I’m looking for a best friend. Best friends know how to be honest with each other. I don’t just want a boyfriend. I want a true partner. I want someone who can love me even when they hate me. We might not always appreciate each other’s opposing opinions, but I will appreciate the honesty. Best friends tell the truth—even when it hurts.
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.