If you’ve ever dipped out on a girls’ night to sit on the couch watching Game of Thrones with your boyfriend like you do every other night of the week, I’m talking to you. You know how important it is to have girlfriends, so why is it so easy to dump them once you hook a guy? Even if you consider your boyfriend to be one of your best friends, it’s just not the same. Here’s what you need to remember.
It’s okay To Have Girlfriends And A Boyfriend. Ditching events and previous commitments like your plans to go to the summer music festival together only to show up with your boyfriend instead is seriously not cool. You don’t have to choose between a boyfriend and your friends – you can and should have both. It’s especially important to strike a balance if you and your partner end up getting married because who’s going to be in your bridal party when you’ve ditched all of your friends for your guy?
Balance Is Key. Whenever something is new, it seems like you can’t get enough of it. It becomes the focal point of your life and it’s like nothing else matters at all, at least for a while. While that’s understandable, it’s important to try to take a step back. Mindfulness and balance go a very long way, and you can get through this hurdle if you’re simply aware and honest with each other about your feelings along the way.
You’re Going To Regret It. You’re probably not thinking of the consequences right away, but you need to hear this. Ditching your besties for a new dude is going to follow with a tidal wave of regret. Whether you realize your mistakes after you break up and you’re in need of girl time or even if you and your boyfriend never call it quits, you’re still going to need someone unbiased and understanding to vent to now and then.
Your friends will always want the best for you. If they’re true friends, they will want you to be happy. In fact, they’ve probably been in your shoes before and can relate to what you’re feeling for your new guy. There’s no need to shut them out when all they want is to share in your joy with you.
You’re hurting your friends’ feelings. It’s easy to accuse your single friends of being jealous that you have a boyfriend, but that’s not always the case. In fact, most of the time it’s complete BS. Not only that, but it hurts when you repeatedly choose to diminish your friendships to hang out with your guy. It’s like they don’t even matter, and that feels terrible.
It sucks to Replaced. It’s difficult not to miss the nights out as single ladies, the girl talk for hours at the end of the day, or simply going for random ice cream runs just because you can. I understand that life changes and priorities shift when you get a boyfriend, but feeling like you’ve been replaced hurts.
Guys will never get you like your best girls do. There’s going to be a time when you need someone to relate to, and the truth is that guys just don’t understand the female brain. That’s when your girlfriends come into play. However, you can’t ditch them while things are great with your boyfriend and then expect them to come running with open arms to pick up your broken pieces when your world crashes around you. Even if that does happen, it’s not a fair friendship.
You’ll Want someone To Celebrate with. For all the bad times, there will also be good times and you’ll want to rejoice with your girlfriends too. If you make a habit of neglecting your girls for your new guy, then there will be nobody left to celebrate with because your friends are going to dwindle away after they’ve had enough of feeling used.
No one expects you to spend every waking minute with your girls anymore. When you were single, you had a lot more space that was filled with friend time, and you probably spent a lot of it with your girls. They understand that with someone new in the picture, you’re working them into your schedule and you’ll have less free time to spend with them. However, to push them aside completely is just unfair and downright rude.
If you are going to ditch them, you need to be honest. Chances are, your girls are pretty sympathetic, so if you have plans to get together but you’d rather be with your boyfriend, just be real with them. They might initially be upset, but in the end, your friends will understand and they’ll respect you more for being honest about your decision rather than serving them a lie or ditching them altogether.
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