Everyone Loves Your Toxic Ex? Don’t Freak Out—Remember These 10 Things

Is there anything more frustrating than knowing your ex is toxic but seeing everyone else fall all over them? It has driven me crazy in the past, but I’ve learned how to deal. Here are 11 ways to stay sane. Don’t let their charade get to you.

  1. Feel sorry for their followers. Everyone loves your ex and “likes” all their posts on social media, but pity those people instead of allowing them to make you angry. They don’t know what they’re dealing with because conveniently they’re just interacting with your ex over a screen. You, however, have dealt with the jerk in real life.
  2. Don’t let it sway you. It’s easy to think, “Maybe my ex isn’t so bad because everyone loves them.” But don’t go there. You know firsthand what they’re like and you can’t erase their toxic behaviors or save them. Heck, you’ve probably tried numerous times already!
  3. What your ex did was enough. The thing is, it doesn’t matter if your ex hurt you and no one else in the whole world. They could even put the rest of the world on a big gold platter, it doesn’t matter. The fact that this person hurt you is enough for you to label them as toxic and get out of the relationship.
  4. Your former partner is a pro at this. Honestly, toxic people know how to manipulate people into thinking they’re charming. That’s what they’re doing with the people who say your ex is so great.
  5. You saw through their lies. Give yourself a pat on the back, or don’t, but at least give yourself some kudos for seeing through this person’s act. All the times they tried to fool you and put the wool over your eyes, you saw through it and knew they were shady. Brava!
  6. Your ex can’t pull it off forever. Yeah, everyone’s praising the person, believing the “good guy/girl” act that they’ve got going right now. People think it’s who your ex really is, but sooner or later, they’re going to let their mask slip off and everyone will see what they’re really like. Don’t stress out about it—let your ex dig their own grave. It’ll happen.
  7. The truth always comes out. You don’t have to run around trying to convince people that your ex is toxic. The truth always comes out! Let the universe and karma do the dirty work for you. All you have to think about is moving on with your glorious life because that’s all that matters.
  8. Say a little prayer. I remember after dating a really toxic guy, I had this mad urge to get in touch with his new girlfriend and warn her that he was terrible. Then I thought she’d probably think I was crazy or jealous and he was really persuasive. I realized I just had to let go and I could only save myself. I did, however, say a little prayer for that woman to open her eyes.
  9. Understand that your ex’s loved ones are never gonna change. What if the people who are praising your ex are actually their family members and loved ones? This can make the situation even more stressful because you can’t help but think, “Don’t they know all of this person’s ugly truths yet?” The thing is, they do but they’re bound by blood to love your ex. The good thing is you don’t have to be stuck with them for life. Thank goodness.
  10. Block your ex on social media. If it makes your blood pressure shoot to see them acting so perfect on social media, you don’t have to see that crap on your feed. Just block them. Out of sight, out of mind. What’s the point of keeping up with them, anyway? You know it’s all lies and they’re a part of your past, not your future.
  11. Trust yourself. Maybe people around your ex can’t believe that you’d dump them because “they’re so nice.” Whatever! Don’t listen to those people. Believe and trust yourself. You know what you went through with this person and you know what bullets you dodged by dumping them. If you had to go back to them, you’d go through all those rough times again and they’d just get worse. Nah, you’re bigger than that. Let your friends who adore your ex keep them in their lives at their own risk.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.