If My Ex Was The Best It Gets, I Think I’d Rather Stay Single

My ex was a real piece of work, but at one point I did really love him. I haven’t found anything close to love since, but that doesn’t mean I’d want to get back together. In fact, I’d rather be alone forever than settle for my ex. Here’s why:

  1. If I can’t be with the right guy, I’m not settling for the wrong oneI want true love or I don’t want any relationship at all. Being with the wrong guy, my ex in particular, would in no way be better than being on my own. I still believe in “The One.” My ex wasn’t the love of my life. True love is still out there. Just because some jerk broke my heart doesn’t mean I stopped believing in love. I couldn’t accept being with a man who I know doesn’t really love me.
  2. He didn’t treat me the way I deserve to be treated. I want to be with a man who will actually appreciate me. All my ex ever did was take me for granted. He never acted like he was lucky to have found me. He was afraid of commitment, played mind games, and was never really sure of what he wanted. I lived through that once and I’ll never put myself through that kind of torture again.
  3. I don’t want to wonder “what if.” I’d rather be alone with the possibility of meeting someone amazing than settle for my ex just so I can have someone. I don’t want to look back on my love life and regret that I didn’t try harder to find real love. I don’t want to wonder if there’s someone else out there who’s better for me. I want to know I’m with the right person and not just settle for what’s available to me.
  4. We wanted different things out of life. He matured in reverse. He was more mature when we met than when our relationship ended years later. He wanted to be wild, free, and party it up. I was a homebody who wanted to settle down. I wanted a career, a family, and a steady home life. He wanted adventure and instability and I just couldn’t live like that.
  5. I’m strong enough to be on my own. I don’t need a man. I’m a strong and independent woman and I can survive on my own. I don’t need someone to take care of me. Sure, I’d love to have a life partner, but only if the right guy comes along. Otherwise, I’m perfectly fine with depending on myself. I could never count on my ex, but at least I know I can always count on me.
  6. Being with him didn’t make me happy. I’m happier on my own. I’m done letting him drag me down. Being with my ex didn’t relieve my stress. It caused it. Now that I’m finally over him and back to being my normal self, I can’t believe I let him hinder my happiness for so long. I don’t need a man to make me happy, and even if I never find love again, I’ll be way happier being forever alone than with my ex.
  7. I don’t believe in getting back together. In my mind, breakups are final. I don’t really believe in bad timing. If we weren’t right for each other then, we still won’t be right for each other now. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life pushing myself to be with the wrong man. We had our chance and things didn’t work out but I’m choosing to move forward with my life and I have no interest in going back.
  8. He made me feel bad about myself. He always wanted me to be someone I’m not. I deserve someone who loves me for exactly the person I am and if I can’t have that then I’m better off on my own. He never made me feel like I was good enough. He ate away at my self-confidence and now that I have it back, I won’t give it up again just so I don’t have to be alone.
  9. I’ve seen real love and my ex wasn’t it. I come from two parents who have loved each other entirely every day of my life, even long before I came into this world. I grew up in the presence of true love so that’s how I know it exists. My parents have an amazing connection and I want that beautiful devotion with someone too. Their love is real and it was nothing like the bullshit I had with my ex.
  10. Settling in love is just giving up. Maybe being with my ex would be comfortable because we’ve already known each other for so long and already seen how a relationship together works, but I don’t want just comfortable. I want the type of love that’s going to move mountains. If I settle for him then I’m giving up on the man I’m really meant to be with and I’d rather be alone than do that.
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.