After a breakup, we all need space from our exes, even if we eventually want to be friends with them down the road. Sometimes even though we know that space is necessary, it’s hard to create (and keep). Although getting blocked by your ex might feel like a low blow, it might actually be something to thank him for. It certainly was for me.
- It forced me to stop obsessing over his social media. After a breakup, it’s normal to wonder what your ex is doing, what he’s been thinking, and who he’s been talking to, even if it was your decision or a mutual decision. I’ve definitely been guilty of stalking my exes on social media, and this seemingly-innocent “checking in” can turn into an unhealthy obsession. My ex blocking me made it impossible for me to casually look over his Facebook or Instagram accounts and minimized the hours wasted (and anxiety caused by) creeping on his pages.
- I had no choice but to go no-contact with him. I’ve always had a hard time letting go, and after a breakup, it’s normal to feel lonely, lost, and wonder if maybe you made a mistake (even when you know the breakup was the right decision for the both of you). My ex gave me no other option but to leave him alone, and although at the time it hurt, it made it easier to move on and to stop second-guessing my decision.
- I stopped worrying about what he was posting and who was liking or commenting on it. I physically couldn’t look at his Instagram posts or FB statuses and I couldn’t obsess about the people he was interacting with online. Instead of unhealthily spiraling out of control wondering if he was dating someone new already or moving on faster than I was, I found freedom in NOT knowing.
- It was a wakeup call that the relationship was really over. There was no going back, no “I miss you” texts, and no wondering if maybe we might eventually get back together. It didn’t leave room for the grey area that can happen during a breakup. Quitting cold turkey was harder at first but definitely made things easier in the long run. It was over, and by blocking me, my ex helped me to fully believe it.
- I didn’t have the constant reminder of him by seeing his posts on my newsfeed. Instead of having constant reminders of him popping up while I was scrolling through my feeds, I didn’t have to worry about a picture or a status making me anxious or upset. There was no awkward accidentally liking one of his posts, either. Although him blocking me did sting at first, it brought me relief in the end.
- There were no awkward drunk messages received (from either of us). It saved me embarrassment, awkwardness, and regret because by blocking me, I couldn’t message him while I was drinking even if I wanted to. Most times, drunk messages do not come off the way you want them to and only make situations worse. Him blocking me eliminated the possibility of this.
- He cut the cord that I was still desperately holding onto. I really needed to let go but was having difficulty following through. I’ve always been one to cling to people and refuse to let go, even when it’s necessary. It was shocking and kind of scary at first but made a huge difference in moving on and getting over each other.
- I realized that it wasn’t a personal attack against me. Him blocking me wasn’t a final metaphorical slap in the face, but rather a necessary step for him to move on. He needs and deserves space from me the same way I do from him. Sometimes, even when you know that you need to leave someone alone and give yourself space as well, it’s hard to be disciplined and follow through with it.
- It sucked at first but in the end, I’m kinda grateful. It allowed me to move on and was a healthy decision—for both of us. There was no second-guessing the breakup or going back to each other. Sometimes, the hardest things to do are the most important, the most necessary, and the ones that end up making you stronger and better. That was definitely the case in this situation. It allowed us to both move on more easily and gave me the freedom I hadn’t been able to give myself.