I thought a breakup was the worst thing that could happen between me and my ex. But it was about to get a lot worse.
He dumped me online too. When he dumped me because he didn’t see a future for our relationship (ouch, dude), I didn’t think that our social media interactions would come to a sudden halt. I thought we’d continue being “friends,” even though we hardly ever spoke online. But he made sure to dump me online a week later in a really hurtful way.
He blocked me. I logged onto Facebook and saw that I was one friend down. Then I realized my ex had not only deleted me, but he also blocked me. I found out by asking a friend to check out his profile—it was still showing up on her computer, so clearly I was blocked and there was nothing wrong with his profile. Sneaky bastard. Then I saw that he’d stopped following me on Twitter too. He totally cleansed himself of me online.
There was no explanation. He didn’t even tell me that he thought we should stop connecting online. He just went ahead and zapped me from his social media accounts as though I never existed. WTF?
It felt worse than the breakup. I couldn’t believe that he threw another punch at me like that! As if breaking up with me mere days before my birthday wasn’t enough. SMH. Now he was putting me through more pain. Talk about adding insult to injury.
It was another reminder that I’d lost him. One of the things that hurt the most about him blocking and unfollowing me was that it just reminded me of the breakup. It was like he was saying, “Hey, you’re trying to get over me, but I’m going to hurt you one more time so that it just makes the breakup harder.” Ugh.
It made me feel like he hated me. He’d dumped me because he’d moved on, but it’s not like we parted ways with any hostility between us. I was really heartbroken but didn’t show it and I certainly didn’t hate him after the breakup. By blocking me on social media, it was like he was telling me that he actually hated me. I felt like I’d done something really wrong for him to treat me so badly and it wasn’t fair on me.
It showed me he wanted nothing to do with me. It was like I was scum or something in his eyes because he didn’t want to have anything to do with me. Even a measly connection on social media was too much for him to handle. There I was thinking that maybe we could be friends in the future. Clearly not.
I know he can do what he wants but he could have done it in a better way. How he blocked me really hurt. He could’ve told me straight up that he didn’t think we should talk anymore on social media so he was going to stop being my friend on there. I would have understood that he preferred a clean break and I wouldn’t have felt any bitterness towards him. Surprising me by blocking me took things to such a nasty level. It was uncalled for.
It made me wonder what he was hiding. It wasn’t any of my business anymore because we weren’t together, but it did make me think that perhaps he was hiding something from me. Maybe he wanted to block me so that I wouldn’t see who he was dating or what he was saying about me. It made me feel a bit insecure for a while because his actions were so dramatic that I felt there had to have been a reason for them.
I expected social media to soften the deal. It’s weird. He broke up with me in person and my heart shattered, but it still wasn’t as painful as seeing him block me online. Is that crazy or is it just a sign of how much social media plays a role in our lives? Maybe I’d been hoping that by being friends on social media after our breakup, it would help me transition into singlehood in a much easier way. It was like slowly weaning myself off an addiction, but I guess he preferred the cold turkey approach.
It was better in the long run. Although it really hurt me at the time, within weeks I was totally over it. So what if he didn’t want to know me anymore, not even on a superficial social media level? It was so much better for my health and future not to see his name pop up in my Facebook newsfeed every morning. He actually did me a favor because I could move on and not have to remain stuck in the past or see reminders of what could’ve been. Freedom!
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