According to my ex, me wanting to spend so much time with him was not attractive. In fact, he said it made me seem clingy. WTF? The desperation of it all seemed so not my style. I was insulted, so naturally, I used his words as fuel to live my best life.
I blocked him STAT. We all know the best way to get someone out of your line of sight is to block them. After that conversation with my ex, I couldn’t block him fast enough! Because he could no longer see my posts as well, it kept me from wanting to post those oh-so-obvious post-breakup, “Look at me, I’m having so much fun without you!” pictures.
I jumped off a bridge…literally. Let me preface this by saying in no way, shape or form do you have to go bungee jumping to prove your badassery, but for me, it was something that I needed to do. I needed to feel that rush of adrenaline while also proving to myself that I can face anything. And even better—I didn’t need anyone holding my hand while I did it. I have yet to feel anything more invigorating than free-falling from a 240-foot bridge in the middle of nowhere.
I stopped hanging around our mutual “friends.” It’s really no secret that mutual friends are only around as long as the relationship lasts. As soon as my ex and I broke up, me and the homies broke up too. Instead of allowing that to drain me, I focused my efforts on finding new buddies and nurturing my old friendships that desperately needed a lifeline after being left out in the cold while I was busy being clingy.
I hit the road solo. Wanna hear something ironic? After being called clingy, I realized that I was the one who needed a breather. I needed time to clear my head in some no-so-familiar surroundings with some equally unfamiliar people. While traveling on the road, the only friend I needed was my GPS and we got along just fine.
Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me. Yeah, right. Words hurt, sometimes just as much as a physical blow. Coincidentally, when someone says something that stings, there’s probably a bit of truth behind their statement. Since my ex’s words hit me like a Mack Truck, I had to take a moment to assess myself. Was I really too clingy? Was there anything I could have done differently? I uncovered some pretty harsh truths and it turned out that I was putting way too much emphasis on my relationship and not enough on myself and what I like to do.
I got back to being the introvert that I am. My ex was the type of guy that thrived on attention and couldn’t stand to be in a room alone. I am the polar opposite. While we were dating, I felt like I had to keep up with his social butterfly-like ways, which meant a lot of fake smiles and dreaded small talk on my end. Cringe.
The right people became attracted to my light. Once I stepped out of the shadows of my ex, I began to shine brighter and people definitely noticed! I was no longer identified as “so-and-so’s girl”. People became drawn to my personality and renewed sense of life. Oh, and of course they fell in love with that badass girl they saw jump off a bridge via Facebook.
Because I wanted to. That’s all. The moment I realized the only person I had to be accountable for was myself, things got real. It was almost like I had been let in on an age-old secret and once it was in my grasp, I refused to let it go. No more hanging in smoky dive bars with uninteresting people. No more dragging my feet to the latest sci-fi blockbuster when I’d rather be at home curled up with a book. I finally gave myself the freedom to do what I wanted, whenever I wanted—no ifs, ands or buts about it.
I got comfortable. Now that I’ve embraced my inner badass, I’ve decided to kick my shoes off and get even more comfortable. I’m in no rush to get back into a relationship. Hell, I’ve got too much exploring to do. While I’ve been on a few dates here-and-there, the truth is, I’m having more fun by myself.
Guess who’s back? I guess I must’ve started doing me a little too well because guess who’s sniffing around like he’s looking for something? My ex. Apparently, I’m looking damn good being all unclingy. Serves him right. Besides, the only thing I’m clinging to these days is my future. How ’bout dat?
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