My Ex Just Started Dating Someone Who Looks Exactly Like Me—What Does It Mean?!

I was scrolling through Instagram the other day and thought I happened to come across my recent ex’s account, which featured a picture of him with his new girlfriend… who looks exactly like me in almost every way. We wear the same style of clothing and have the same hairstyle and facial shape. It’s just too weird for words.

  1. It makes me feel like he was just dating me to fulfill some fantasy. When I saw who he was dating, I realized that the only thing I was to him was a real-life version of whatever cartoon character he was in love with as a kid. It kinda made me feel like an object, like all he really cared about when we were together was my appearance. Maybe that’s why things didn’t work out?
  2. Seeing her only reminds me of when we were together. Honestly, I might as well be looking at our old photos when I scroll through his Instagram because this girl looks exactly like me. I wasn’t gonna unfollow him when we broke up, but I’m definitely gonna unfollow him now. It’s just painful to look at. I get deja-vu every time I see one of his posts.
  3. People actually texted me asking if we got back together. Just to give you an idea on how similar we actually look, after he posted his new girlfriend on his account for the first time, I started getting all these messages asking if we got back together. It was pretty awkward to have to explain that no, we hadn’t—he just found someone who looks exactly like me. I think it was that photo of her in side profile with her hair kinda hiding the side of her face that did it. From that angle, you really couldn’t tell us apart.
  4. I guess it’s better than him dating my total opposite. I gotta say, even though this has been totally annoying for me, at least he isn’t dating someone who’s nothing like me. If he was, I would be questioning everything about our relationship, wondering whether he was just settling for second best when we went out and wishing he was with the girl he’s with now.
  5. It makes me think that I could still have him. The most painful part about this whole situation is that it makes me think that if I didn’t screw up our relationship, we would still be dating. It kinda confirms that the breakup was all my fault and that the girl he’s with now is basically me minus the nuts. I definitely feel like the factory reject.
  6. Has the thought that he’s dating my twin ever crossed his mind? Is he even aware that he’s dating another version of me? If I started dating someone right out of the gate who looked exactly like him, I would feel really weird about it. I would be nuts that my friends and family would think that I was using this poor guy as a rebound because I’m not yet over my ex. It’s just so obvious, right?
  7. It doesn’t help that she’s just slightly better looking than me. I would be sorta OK with this if she was slightly less attractive than me, but she’s a good solid step above me and everyone knows it. It’s like he’s dropped his old, smashed up iPhone XS for the iPhone XS Max.
  8. Is he doing this on purpose? I can’t help but think he’s pulling this stunt to get back at me and maybe show me that he doesn’t need me anymore. I’m sure he didn’t purposely seek out a girl who looks like me to get revenge—he likes what he likes, obviously—but why else would he be so quick to post pics of a girl he’s just started to date? It seems a little premature to go public…
  9. I bet that he messes up her name all the time. I can guarantee you that he’s accidentally called her by my name. I can just see it now: they’re in bed together and he accidentally yells out my name instead of hers. Is it wrong that I kind of like that idea?
  10. Maybe this is his way of getting over me. Honestly, I can’t blame him. Maybe I’m just so hard to get over, he needs a body double to finish the grieving process. Well, probably not, but at least that’s what I’m telling myself.
Jennifer is a playwright, dancer, and theatre nerd living in the big city of Toronto, Canada. She studied Creative Writing at Concordia University and works as a lifestyle writer who focuses on Health, B2B, Tech, Psychology, Science, Food Trends and Millennial Life. She's also a coreographer, playwright, and lyricist, with choreography credits for McMaster University’s “Spring Awakening,” “Roxanne” for the Guelph Contemporary Dance Festival, and “The Beaver Den” for The LOT, among others.

You can see more of her work on her Contently page and follow her on Instagram @jenniferenchin.