The Excruciating Stages Of Liking A Guy You Know You Shouldn’t

You know he’s not good for you — in fact, he’s likely very, very BAD for you — but you just can’t help yourself. He’s irresistible and you just have to have him. You may be strong enough to avoid going there, but there’s no denying that your feelings are out of control. Here’s what you’re likely to go through when you fall for a guy you know you really shouldn’t:

1. You see him and think he’s cute. Initially, it’s a purely physical thing. You’re attracted to him, but you don’t really know him or what he’s about. You do get a definite vibe that you should stay away from him for whatever reason. Maybe he’s too attractive. Maybe he has an aura that spells big trouble. Either way, he’s tempting as hell.
2. You meet him and he’s kind of the worst. Nope. Never mind. How many times have you met a guy who looked amazing but then he opened his mouth and he was just terrible? Probably too many. You make his acquaintance and you’re quickly put off by him. He’s either cocky, annoying, or just not your type at all. Too bad, but it’s for the best to know now.
3. You get to know him a little better. Okay, once you get past your initial impression, he’s not that awful. Maybe you were just being harsh and judging him too quickly. He can be nice sometimes, he’s sort of charming, and there’s just something about him …
4. You tell yourself you’d never fall for him. It’s all good, because he’s totally not your type. There are so many reasons that you wouldn’t go for this guy! It feels like a safe zone to talk to him and flirt with him because there’s just no chance of anything happening.
5. You get to be friends. Because you know there’s no chance that you’d actually develop feelings for him, you’re able to act like yourself. He likes you for who you are, and the two of you get chummy. It’s nice having a guy friend, and after all, he could use some words of wisdom from a woman like you. He’s kind of a mess.
6. You see all his red flags and you’re even more sure you aren’t into it. Nope! He’s awesome to have as a friend and not a bad dude at all, but the two of you simply aren’t compatible. He violates several of your dealbreakers on pretty much a daily basis. You know him better now and you’ve seen some of his crap. He’s not good relationship material.
7. You two become much closer. It’s so easy because you like him so much as a fun hangout buddy but there’s no romantic awkwardness to get in the way. He starts to open up to you because you’re a friend but you’re still a girl. He trusts you and your opinions. He can talk to you about the deeper stuff, the things he doesn’t discuss with the boys. You’re best buddies all of a sudden.
8. You have all this affection for him — platonically, of course. You guys are bros! You just adore him — he really grew on you. Under all that fake bravado and joking, he’s a pretty good dude. You’re so glad you took the time to look past all the BS and see the person inside. Still, he definitely has issues. You would never… man, he sure is cute though.
9. He shows you his hidden vulnerable side. Awww. Who can resist a man who opens up to you? wait. You can, right? Because you two are just friends, right? Uh, it’s no big deal that he tells you stuff he doesn’t tell anyone else or that he looks at you like that or that you feel all gooey inside when you’re around him… ah, crap.
10. The two of you have fun together. You can’t remember the last time you had this much fun with a guy. You certainly didn’t with any of your dud exes. It’s so easy with him because the two of you would never start liking each other, so no big deal! He’s like a really hot, sweet, cool, fun brother to you… if it was a step-brother. Okay, he’s not like a brother at all.
11. You start really digging him as a person, flaws and all. Uh oh, you’re in the danger zone now. When you start finding all his messy crap endearing, you’re totally screwed. This is the turning point when you begin moving from thinking of him as a friend to wanting something more, and you probably don’t even realize it. You’re accepting him as the total package of who he is, even though you know how terrible you’d be for each other.
12. You realize you REALLY f*cking like him! Crap. You’re in over your head before you know it, and then it’s too late. You already spend all this time with him, the two of you have all this history, and that initial attraction has morphed into something deeper and more intense. He still has all the same issues he always did, but now you’re brushing them aside like a love drunk idiot.
13. You go through guilt and anger and denial. It’s like you’re mourning the death of a perfect friendship— but honestly, it was never just that. You always thought he was attractive, and you can’t get close to someone you’re attracted to without feeling something emotional for them. Now you’re pissed at yourself for going there. You try to pretend it isn’t real but it’s there staring you in the face.
14. You remind yourself of all the reasons it would never work. The bottom line is that it’s a recipe for disaster. You’ll ruin your friendship with him. It’ll get awkward and weird, and you don’t even know if he likes you back. If he doesn’t, things will be super strange between you. Even if he does, all that baggage isn’t going away. You told yourself you’d never like him because of it. Do you really think a relationship could survive that crap?
15. You hate yourself for liking him anyway. It doesn’t matter. You started liking him, you let the feelings grow, and now you’re screwed. The self-loathing won’t change that. Your heart wants him desperately and everyone knows the heart follows no logic whatsoever. It’s done, and you’re either going to have to suffer in silence or risk ruining your friendship and beginning something that is probably doomed to fail. It’s a lose-lose, and you’re stuck.