If there’s one thing you never leave home without, it’s your phone. You take your phone everywhere. It’s with you in the bathroom, beside you when you’re in bed, and in your pocket when you go out. You check it often, no matter where you are. So when it takes a guy two days to text you back, you know you’re not buying his lame excuses. He may as well just tell you he’s not interested, because there’s nothing that will drive you crazier than the excuses he makes for not texting you back.
- My phone died. Oh, did it? But what about the portable charger we’ve seen you bring with you? Or the battery pack case you boast about? We’re pretty sure your phone wasn’t dead for two days. Eventually you must have gone home and charged it. You likely made other calls and sent messages in the past two days. Stop the BS. Likely, it wasn’t dead at all.
- I didn’t have service. You had no service in a major city with multiple cell towers? Really? Unless you were out camping in the middle of nowhere, I’m not buying it.
- I fell asleep. Sure, we’ve all done this before. You’re texting in bed late at night and you fall asleep while waiting for the other person to respond. But most people would text back in the morning, or whenever they wake up and realize they fell asleep mid-conversation. But not these guys. Nope. They’ll wait at least three days before telling you they fell asleep. I believe you, but you’re not off the hook if you’re leaving me hanging for two days.
- I was in the shower. I’m not sure what exactly you were doing in the shower, but eight hours seems a little excessive.
- I was busy. Everyone’s favorite. Why? Because everyone is busy! We all have jobs and family and friends and responsibilities. And, you know, a life. But no one is ever that busy. I make time for what’s important to me — and is two seconds to respond to a text really that hard to squeeze in to your busy schedule?
- I didn’t get your text. That’s funny, my phone says it was delivered. Hell, it even says it was read. But sure, you didn’t get it.
- How did I miss this? I don’t know. You tell me. Last time I checked, your phone vibrates or makes noise when you receive a message, and the little text message symbol typically doesn’t go away until you read the text. So I’m not sure how you missed it, either.
- I forgot. Sure, that’s possible. We’ve all had times where we’re unable to text back right away and then it slips our mind when we get a free second later. But if I haven’t crossed your mind in two days, and you didn’t think to text me at all, that’s an even bigger problem.
- I didn’t hit send. You mean to tell me that you typed out an entire message, forgot to hit send, and didn’t notice it just sitting there for a week? So you’re either a liar, or a complete moron.
- I didn’t hear my phone. Believable. You probably didn’t hear it… but you can usually see when you have a message, and I know you looked at your phone eventually.
- I was out. That’s nice. I know you take your phone out with you. You use it to meet up with your friends, to check the time and to get girls’ numbers. I’m sure you took your phone out of your pocket more than a few times, and I know you didn’t go all night without texting anyone when you were out. At the very least, would it kill you to just tell me that you’re out and will message us later? I’d appreciate that so much more than being ignored.
- Sorry, I’m just seeing this now. Really? Have you not looked at your phone for a week? I’m having a pretty hard time believing that.
