Reminder: Exes Who Hurt You Make You Stronger

No one wants to be cheated on or lied to, but it’s bound to happen. Eventually, someone somewhere is going to screw you over, and there’s nothing you can do about it. Of course, it’s not the worst thing that can happen to you. In a way, it’s actually a good thing. After all, exes who screw you over make you stronger, and here’s why:

  1. They prove you can be happy on your own. It’s hard to believe that it’s better to be alone than in an unhappy relationship… until you meet someone who royally screws you over. They’ll prove that being single isn’t all that bad, since it means you’ll be far away from people like them.
  2. They show you what you don’t want. You learn from your mistakes. If you’ve been screwed over in the past, you’ll find better partners in the future, because you’ll be careful to choose someone completely different from your exes.
  3. They make you see your self-worth. You shouldn’t feel insecure after getting screwed over. You should actually feel stronger, because putting them in your past means that you know you deserve more than they could ever give you.
  4. They teach you how to hold your own. If you had constant arguments, at least your bad times taught you how to stand up for yourself. It’s important to know how to fight back without bursting into tears or giving in to their demands.
  5. They remind you to watch out. If you’re always dating goodhearted people, it can be easy to forget that there’s evil in the world. But if you date a string of losers, you’ll remember to keep an eye on your drinks in bars, watch for signs that they’re cheating, and do whatever else you can to keep yourself safe from physical and emotional harm.
  6. They prove you can survive anything. If you can survive getting screwed over by someone you truly loved and trusted, then you can survive anything. That’ll be a reassuring thought when you face future hardships.
  7. They give you thicker skin. As much as it hurts to get screwed over by the person you’ve been seeing, you’re going to have to let the things they’ve said and done roll right off your back. After all, there’s no sense in listening to the opinion of a crazy person.
  8. They turn you into a pickier person. You won’t settle for dating anyone like them again. Your ex’s poor attitude will make you pickier, which is always a good thing when it comes to dating.
  9. They teach you what to do differently. You have to stop and think about why you were with your ex in the first place. If you settled for them because they had a pretty face, it’ll teach you to stop valuing looks over personality.
  10. They show you how to deal with pain. The more you get screwed over, the more opportunities you’ll have to learn how to deal with pain. By the time you find the right person for you, you should know if crying in a corner or taking a kickboxing class makes you feel better after a rough day.
Holly is a science fiction and horror writer, who has recently been published by Flash Fiction Press, Infective Ink, and Popcorn Press. You can find more of her nonfiction articles on All Women Stalk, The Talko, and News Cult.