Expecting Him To Disappoint You Will Only Make It More Likely To Happen

If you tell yourself you’re going to hate a movie before you watch it, then you’ll end up hating it, no matter how good it is. It’s the same with relationships. If you assume that it’s going to fail, then it will. You’re setting yourself up for disappointment. All the things you expect to go wrong most likely will if you don’t put those thoughts out of your head and enjoy what’s in front of you now.

Here are 10 things you expect him to do that he probably has no intention of putting you through:

  1. Lie to you. If you don’t believe a word that pops out of your man’s mouth, you’re going to be drowning in arguments. Trust is an essential part of a healthy relationship. If he comes home late and you don’t believe his excuse, then it won’t take long for everything to fall apart.
  2. Accuse you of cheating. If you feel guilty about hanging out with your male friends, you might put words in his mouth. Even though he wasn’t worried about you cheating before, he will be after you accuse him of being worried about it. Instead of taking the idea out of his head, you’ll put the idea into his head.
  3. Use you for sex. There are hundreds of men who use women for sex. However, if he calls you his girlfriend and claims that he loves you, he’s not one of them. He wouldn’t enter a relationship with you if he wanted to sleep with a new girl every night.
  4. Lose interest in you. Even though he hasn’t actually lost interest in you, you might accuse him of wanting to sleep with another girl who’s prettier than you are. That will spark a fight, and if you refuse to believe him when he tells you you’re wrong, then you might just end up alone. We’re all insecure, but letting it get the best of you can cause a breakup.
  5. Get drunk. You shouldn’t underestimate your partner. If you invite him to a party, but get mad at him before you even leave the house because you think he’s going to go overboard with his drinking, then you’re acting unreasonable. Don’t start a fight with him over something he didn’t even do yet.
  6. Break a promise. If he promises you he’ll do the dishes later, but you don’t believe it and do the dishes for him, a fight could break out. If you don’t think he’s a man of his word, why would you be with him? You need someone you can rely on.
  7. Forget your anniversary. Give your partner some credit. If you assume that he’s going to forget your anniversary, then you’re going to wake up angry on your anniversary. Don’t ruin a special day with your low expectations.
  8. Abuse you. If you’re worried about him putting his hands on you, you’ll stop yourself from talking back to him out of fear. Communication is a key component of a healthy relationship, which is why it’s dangerous to keep your mouth shut. Of course, if you think your man is capable of physically abusing you, then you should already be heading for the door.
  9. Criticize you. If you’re afraid to see him without makeup on because you think he’ll make fun of you, then you shouldn’t be with him. You need someone that you’re comfortable with, someone who would never dream of criticizing you.
  10. Leave you. If you enter a relationship assuming that it isn’t going to last, then it won’t. You don’t have to have unbelievably high expectations about marrying him, but you should at least have hope that you two will stay together for a while. If you “know” it’s going to fail from the start, then you’re tempting it to fail.
Holly Riordan is a writer from Long Island, New York who has authored several science fiction and horror books. A graduate of Stony Brook University, she has spent nearly a decade writing for publications including Thought Catalog, Huffington Post, Teen Vogue, and more. You can find her on Instagram @hollyrio and Twitter @hollyyrio.