My Ex’s New Girlfriend Deserved To Know What Kind Of Guy She’s Dating, So I Told Her

I called my ex-boyfriend’s new girlfriend because I felt like it was my duty to warn her about what she was getting herself into by being in a relationship with him. Some people might think that’s inappropriate but I don’t regret it at all.

1. He was a great listener, but only if it was something he wanted to hear. Having a conversation with him was great… when he was actually invested in what I was saying. If I was trying to talk about something that bothered me, my day at the office, or about family drama, he would tune out like a bad radio. I felt like it was my duty to warn her that when he started to lose interest, it wasn’t her fault. It was definitely all him.
2. He liked to have fun but he didn’t know when enough is enough. Being with a guy who’s fun and playful is great until it’s time to be an adult. He was great at making me laugh, but that became an annoyance since that’s all he was good at. I had to take over being the adult in the relationship. It felt like I was still dating someone who was stuck in high school, and that was NOT fun.
3. He was practically allergic to cleaning up after himself. When I asked if he could help me clean the house, it was as if I’d personally insulted him. He tried to get out of daily cleaning by doing things like fixing the sink, mowing the lawn, or basically any single task that took up most of the day. That left me to pick up the house, do the dishes, mop the floor and do the laundry… all the time.
4. He always said sorry but he never seemed to change. This is a big one, and something I definitely don’t regret warning his new girlfriend about. He was great at apologizing for his behavior, especially when he was unintentionally hurtful. The problem was that he never seemed to figure out how to change it and do better, which meant he was apologizing for the same exact thing over and over again. After a while, I stopped believing the apology.
5. He was an OK lover, but only some of the time. When we did the things that he wanted to do in bed, he was great. We had a lot of fun, but he wasn’t very good at the giving without receiving part of being intimate. Foreplay was basically a foreign concept to him. He felt it was boring when I felt like it was an essential part of being intimate with someone.
6. He’s terrible at keeping secrets. OK, I know we all gossip about our significant others to our friends, but nothing I told him was kept between us. Even when I asked him to keep something private, it always seemed to get around to his friends or family and it was the worst. I think every girl should be warned when her boyfriend is going to be spreading her personal business around.
7. He hated my cat. I think how someone treats animals is a big indicator of their character and he absolutely loathed my cat. Sure, maybe he just wasn’t a cat person, but all he ever did was complain about my pet. He didn’t make it a secret that he hated it and he was also kind of mean to it. Animals definitely hold some kind of intuition about people and my cat didn’t like him any more than he liked it. If you ask me, that’s a red flag.
8. When he didn’t get his way, he turned into a 12-year-old. He’d pout like a child every single time. If you ask me, relationships should be about compromise but my ex-boyfriend acted like he didn’t even know the meaning of the word. When we’d disagree about what to do, where to eat, or what movie to watch, I learned quickly it was just easier to give in to what he wanted if I didn’t want to deal with his drama. It wasn’t cute.
9. I’m pretty sure he loved me but he wouldn’t say it. He wasn’t very good at communicating emotions or even at being committed. Even though it seemed like he loved me, he wouldn’t ever say it. I tried to say it a few times, but there’s nothing more humiliating than telling someone you love them and them saying, “Cool!” as a reply. Yes, he really did that.
10. He was cool with my friends but he always talked crap about them behind their backs. That was the last straw, really. My ex-boyfriend seemed so good with my friends, but the minute they left, he always had something negative to say. To him, my friends were vapid, shallow, or annoying. Of course, if I criticized his friends, he would go into pout mode for the rest of the afternoon. What a nightmare.