The concept of failure can seem stifling, and scary to the point that we don’t even try. We need to stop that, especially when it comes to dating. Just because one relationship doesn’t work out doesn’t mean they’re all doomed, but you’ll never know if you stop putting yourself out there. Here’s why your lack of success in love has nothing to do with the rest of your life:
- There’s no such thing as “failing” in love. First of all, your dating life isn’t a multiple choice test (although sometimes that might actually make it easier), so even if it looks bleak, that doesn’t necessarily mean that it’s wrong.
- Some things are just out of your control. You can be the most organized, kind, responsible person on the planet and still not understand your dating life. Sometimes you just have to wait for the right person to come in at the right time and that’s certainly no fault of yours.
- What’s happening can depend on what you’re prioritizing. If you’re not prioritizing your love life and are concentrating on your career instead, then it wouldn’t be surprising if for a period of time you’re doing better at work. Where we put our attention can matter, so don’t be too hard on yourself if you don’t actually want to be prioritizing certain things.
- Getting dumped doesn’t mean you failed. Rejection is one of the more painful things that come with dating, especially when you have strong feelings for someone. It’s hard to sort this out sometimes because yeah, it’s often personal, but you still don’t have to take it too personally. The next guy might love what the last guy didn’t like about you, so changing who you are isn’t always the message you’re supposed to be taking away from a breakup.
- Dating a jerk doesn’t mean you failed, either. Getting betrayed or looking back and wondering what the hell you were thinking can be a little jarring, but it doesn’t mean that all your judgments and life compass are off. If everyone in your life was pretty terrible, that would be different, but if it’s just one person, you’ll probably learn your lesson and move on.
- There’s nothing wrong with being single. There’s a tendency for people to feel incomplete until they find a partner, but no one actually thinks their friends are any less awesome for being single, so you’re probably a lot better off than you think. Anyone can be in a relationship if they really want to be, so it’s not like it’s an exclusive club that you’re being left out of.
- Not everything is perfect all the time. It’s fun when everything in life seems to line up and we can make it through a day without a hitch, but that’s not realistic in the long term, and the parts of our life aren’t always interrelated. The best we can do is the best we can do, and then life unfolds from there.
