You might think that it’d be painfully obvious if you’re dating a psychopath, but the truth is that it’s not always that simple. Psychopaths are known for being extremely charming, which is exactly how you get reeled into a relationship with one in the first place. However, if you notice some of these signs in the guy you’ve started dating, you should cut the cord ASAP.
- He love bombs you. A common trait in psychopaths is that they move very quickly in relationships. They’ll excessively compliment you, want to spend time with you 24/7, and profess their love for you right away, despite the fact that they barely know you. You might think this is a nice change from guys who can’t make up their minds about their feelings for you, but the truth is that these kinds of intense emotions are not only overwhelming but also a sign that your new boyfriend could be a psychopath. He’s trying to get you committed and deeply emotionally involved with him as quickly as possible.
- You almost have a little too much in common with him. Do you guys have so many shared interests, hobbies, and experiences that it’s actually a little eerie? Psychopaths pay attention to your likes and dislikes, then try to mirror and adopt them as their own. It’s another tactic he may be using to get you invested in him as soon as possible. If he seems to like everything that you do, that’s a problem.
- Every story he tells you involves him getting screwed over by someone else. And it’s never, ever his fault. He has countless cheating, lying, stalking exes, his parents don’t really love him, his friends steal from him. He’s had his heart broken many times and has been used and mistreated by many different people—according to him anyway. He’s trying to get you to feel bad for him so that in the future when he does something to hurt you or something you normally wouldn’t tolerate in a relationship, you make excuses for it and forgive him because of what he’s told you about his past.
- He’s the king of excuses. He always has an excuse for everything and it’s always completely out of his control. He lost his job because his boss is an a-hole, he was late because his friend forced him to do a favor for him, he can’t make your date because he’s sick again. When people make excuses over and over, it gets frustrating and begins to seem fake—and if it happens all the time, it probably is. While not all compulsive liars are psychopaths, a lot of them certainly are.
- He regularly tries to make you angry or jealous. He gets satisfaction from being able to get a reaction out of you, whether that’s by making you jealous, angry, or upset in some way. He enjoys these games and thrives off of you reacting with any type of emotion, especially a negative one. That’s why the only way to win when dealing with a psychopath is to simply cut them off with absolutely no contact at all.
- He uses his amazing bedroom skills to distract you. Everyone wants great sex and good sexual chemistry with someone they’re dating. However, psychopaths try extra hard to please you in bed and seem to know exactly what to do. It’s another way of getting you hooked and keeping you interested in him.
- He always hits you with the most heartfelt apologies. At least they seem heartfelt. Psychopaths try to belittle you, hurt you, make you angry and jealous, and then always have the perfect apology planned, professing their love and promising that they’ll never do it again. Of course, each apology seems sincere, but also simultaneously attempts to blame something or someone else for what happened rather than seeing him actually owning up to his own mistake.
- His personality flips out of nowhere. He’s the most loving person one minute, and the next he’s accusing you of cheating or simply being rude or hurtful towards you. He can’t seem to stay in control of his emotions and his mood goes from one extreme to the other, often quickly. If you stay in a relationship with someone like this, it can lead to dangerous and scary situations because you won’t be able to trust his reactions.
- He’s a completely different person when he drinks. Alcohol can change people’s personalities occasionally, but while psychopaths can often hide some of their crazy traits while sober, when they’re drunk, the cracks start to show and it becomes more obvious. You might blame the booze on his more erratic tendencies when he’s intoxicated, but the truth is that he may just be a psychopath who’s been good at hiding it when sober.