Reminder: Falling In Love Won’t Always End With You Falling Apart

Reminder: Falling In Love Won’t Always End With You Falling Apart ©iStock/Geber86

If you’ve been in one too many crappy relationships, it makes sense that you’d start to give up on love —but don’t. Just because you’ve dealt with a bunch of players in the past doesn’t mean all guys are like that, and falling in love won’t always end with you falling apart.

  1. Eventually, it’ll all work out. Taylor Swift said it best: “It’s going to be forever or it’s going to go down in flames.” Those are your two options. Since “forever” can only happen once, you have to be patient until the love of your life comes along and helps you put all of your doubts in the past.
  2. You’ve learned how to hold yourself together. Even if your relationship ends, that doesn’t mean that you’re destined to fall apart. Think of all of the lessons you’ve learned over the years and all of the confidence you’ve gained. Your future breakups don’t have to be like your past ones, because now you know better than to let a man destroy you.
  3. You’re stronger than you realize. You’ve handled rejection, death, and public school, but you’re going to let a boy break you? Come on. You’re stronger than that.
  4. Not all relationships end badly. Not all relationships end with swearing and crying and bitch slapping. Some couples actually remain friends after their breakup. That means that the breakup must have been civil.
  5. There’s more to life than guys. You know this by now. A teeny tiny breakup isn’t going to cause you to unravel. You have more important things to focus on than your crappy love life.
  6. You’re not your parents. Don’t believe the rumor that monogamy is unnatural, or that every married couple you know is going to end up divorced one day. Yes, more people split up than stay together, but if you find the right person and put in enough effort, you’ll be one of the rare couples who lasts a lifetime.
  7. Relationships don’t always work out. Not all of your breakups will be caused by some big blowup. Sometimes, you’ll make the mature decision to split after you realize you two are better off apart. There won’t be any hard feelings or regret, which means that you aren’t actually going to fall apart.
  8. Your exes can teach you a lot about life. Your exes aren’t meant to destroy you. They’re meant to help you learn about yourself, about what you want, and about what you need. That’s why you might leave a relationship more confident than when you entered it.
  9. You’ve done it before. Even if you do fall apart, so what? It’s happened to you before. If you handled it back then, you can handle it again in the future.
  10. You can’t live a life of fear. If you run away from men, because you’re worried about what might happen if you let yourself develop feelings for one of them, you’ll end up screwing yourself over. You have to keep an open mind and an open heart. Otherwise, you’ll never experience the bliss that true love can bring.
Holly Riordan is a writer from Long Island, New York who has authored several science fiction and horror books. A graduate of Stony Brook University, she has spent nearly a decade writing for publications including Thought Catalog, Huffington Post, Teen Vogue, and more. You can find her on Instagram @hollyrio and Twitter @hollyyrio.