Falling Out Of Love Sucks, Mostly Because You Can’t Stop Remembering The Good Parts

Falling in love can be the most magical time of your life, but falling out of it is the absolute worst. Love is bliss, but heartbreak is pure pain. Moving on is hard and watching your ex move on is even harder, but the absolute worst part about falling out of love is remembering what it was like to be in it. Here’s why:

  1. You remember all the good times. You remember how you started. You remember how happy you were together. It’s such a vivid memory that you can’t really understand how something so good unraveled into the hell hole you’re in now. Good trumps evil, at least in your memory.
  2. You forget all the bad. When you’re focusing on the good times, it’s easy to forget the bad. You don’t remember the fights you had or the tears he made you cry. You forget every time he let you down. You forget the anger and how he hurt you, and now your only pain is the one caused by the absence of his love.
  3. You want it back so badly. Now that you know what love is, the only thing you want is to get it back. That’s why so many people are desperate to get back together. Breaking up is just too hard and giving up on love is impossible. They say it’s better to have loved and lost, but all you can think is that ignorance was bliss and sure beats the pain of being without him.
  4. Despite wanting to find love again, you don’t know if it’s worth the risk. You were blind before. There’s nothing as naive as your first real love because you don’t know what you’re getting yourself into or what happens if you ever fall out of it. Now that you know, you still want love, but not if the price is heartbreak.
  5. You miss the people you were. You hated the people you became and that’s why you fell out of love with each other. The hard part is that you remember the people you were. You remember the boy you fell in love with. You might not be in love with the present day versions of each other, but you can’t get over the past.
  6. You’d give anything just to be back in love again. You just want to be loved and to love with your whole heart again, just once more. You’d give anything for one more second of feeling safety in someone else’s arms. You wish that someone could magically take away that pain and that you could just be whole again because right now tiny pieces of memory fill the space where your heart should be.
  7. You can’t forget how happy love made you. Once you’ve known joy like that, it’s hard for the rest of your life to compare. You know that you’ll find away to be happy with just being single again, but you worry all you’ll ever really feel is content. You know what it’s like to love and be loved, and you’ll do anything to find some semblance of that new level of happiness again.
  8. You don’t understand how something so beautiful could turn so ugly. Your relationship unraveled before your eyes, but you still don’t know how it happened. You think though everything that happened over and over again, but you still can’t understand. You remember the beauty of the beginning and you know what happened in the end, but the middle that got you from point A to B will always be a blur.
  9. He haunts your dreams. Even if you manage to distract your mind from the love you lost while you’re awake, you can’t control your unconscious thoughts. Every time you fall asleep your mind goes back to him, back to the times when you were happy. Then you have to wake up and remember reality because you’re only still in love in your dreams.
  10. You want to move on but you’re afraid to let go. Even when you’re over your ex, you still remember what it was like to love him. You want to move on from him but you don’t want to let go of the feeling love gave you. You’re afraid that if you give up on this love you’ll never find another, and that’s why you can’t let go. That’s why it’s so hard to move on because despite the pain of falling out of love, you still want to be in it.
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.