You Don’t Need To Be Stick Thin To Enjoy Sex—Fat Sex Is Hot

Sex isn’t just for thin women with six-pack abs and perky breasts. Fat women love sex too and we’re damn good at it. In fact, I’d venture to say that fat sex is actually the best kind you could possibly have. Here’s why:

  1. It’s not like the men’s magazines say—fat girls aren’t just desperate. Fat people have as much sex as anyone else, sometimes more. The amount of sex you have and how good you are at it has nothing to do with your shape and size. Sex is more enjoyable when you’re confident about your body regardless of what it looks like. Insecurities only hold people back, and that goes for thin women too. I certainly had a lot of hang-ups about my body when I was younger and I always tried to hide under the covers or just avoided sex altogether. It took all the fun out of it.
  2. What’s the point in worrying about wobbly bits when you could just be enjoying yourself? I spent too long denying myself pleasure, worried about my jiggling belly. I’ve always been fat and for a while thought I’d never be happy and confident unless I was thin. But if that was the case, surely every thin person in the world would be happy? Body positivity is more about changing the way you think instead of changing the way you look. It’s about taking responsibility for your own health and ignoring the haters. All bodies are different but we all have the right to enjoy sex. Our bodies don’t stop us—our minds and society’s expectations do.
  3. Two fat people together = double the fun! I’m fat and I’ve had sex with thin guys and fat ones. There’s as much chance the sex will be terrible regardless of someone’s size, but in my experience, two fatties together is extra fun—not to mention squidgy, sexy, bouncy, and soft. What’s not to like? Sometimes it’s just about finding the right positions. If missionary is a little uncomfortable or if it’s hard to be able to penetrate deeply, he could kneel between your legs as you lie back, holding them up if flexibility allows.
  4. It’s as if doggy style was made for fat people! No tummies in the way and nice deep penetration—it may even hit your G-spot in the right way too! Don’t be afraid to try things. There are lots of fat sex myths (often said by douchebag guys) like that fat women can never be on top or that we’ll suffocate our partners if we sit on their faces. Guys who say things like this have clearly never had sex with a bigger girl (if any girl at all!). Facesitting is often not actual sitting (although some people are really into that); it just means straddling the face. This can work out to be a lot more comfortable for the giver and is super hot for the receiver, so give it a try.
  5. We get extra help with going down on guys. This is will depend on your anatomy, but I found that having a short neck and big boobs can make a blowjob extra special. If you’re leaning forward and he’s lying down, those blessed with large breasts may find that they can incorporate quite easily into a blowjob, slipping his penis between them while still being able to simulate the tip with your mouth. Or, sometimes your boobs may rub against his balls while you suck. He’ll love it, trust me.
  6. You’re missing out if you limit yourself to people with the same body type. Part of the fun is meeting someone new and exploring their body, and I like to explore all different body types! Sex is about finding out how you fit together. No two couples will ever be the same, which is why it’s so much fun to try many combinations.
  7. Real attraction has nothing to do with a person’s size. It comes from a real connection that forms from complementary personalities and hearts. For me, respect and consent are sexy, and being present in the moment and being genuine is so important. Playing games or putting on a front is such a turn-off. People often try too hard, thinking about what they should be doing and how they look because they’re eager to impress. Getting too caught up in your head never makes for good sex. Let go and enjoy the moment!
  8. Who says sexy = thin anyway? Bigger body = more to explore and play with! Large bodies are just as beautiful as thin ones. You’re allowed to have a type, of course, but it sometimes feels like that “type” is too heavily influenced by what the media and society tells us is right. We’re shown enhanced images of people in magazines and online, women with small waists and shapely butts. Society has told us that beauty comes in the form of a slim white woman. We have to question ourselves and consider if that’s really true. How can finding someone sexy be based purely on how much body fat they have? It’s ridiculous.
  9. It’s not like in the movies. And that’s a good thing! Movie sex is usually so boring and glossy—no sweat, no smudged makeup, no squelchy noises, no bodily fluids. It’s perfectly clean and tidy. They never seem to fumble and they always know exactly how to get into the right position and what goes where. Where’s the fun in that? Unless you’ve been with your partner for years and know exactly what they like, sex is a bit of a guessing game, but working it out is part of the fun.
  10. Sex is meant to be fun, so laugh about it! Sometimes sex is a little cringy, especially as a bigger person trying to get into different positions. Laughing is the best way to deal with anything awkward. Sex is messy, so don’t try to deny it! No matter what your shape or size, know that you’re with your partner because they find you sexy. Don’t spend a single moment worrying about your body because you’ve got more important things to focus on, like having the best sex of your life!
Mel Ciavucco is a freelance writer from the UK. She is a blogger, fiction writer, screenwriter, content writer and editor.

Mel is passionate about writing stories that challenge social norms, showcase diverse characters and contain realistic portrayals of mental health. She believes that sharing our stories and stepping out of our comfort zones makes us all better human beings.

Mel is the founder of Write Kerfuffle: Writing and Editing Services:
She writes about gender equality on her personal blog: