I’ve been a doormat basically my entire life.
To avoid confrontation with people, I would put up with a lot of BS. I’m kind by nature and people take advantage of that—and honestly, I just let them because it was easier than standing up for myself. I’d let people talk about negative crap and not tell them to stop even though it really brought my mood down.
I got sick of being a people-pleaser.
It gets old trying to make people happy all the time, especially since it’s impossible. I was tired of pretending to feel, think, or be a certain way just to appease the other person. Would I participate in gossip even if it was about someone I genuinely liked? Yes. Did I let someone else’s bad mood put me in a bad mood too? Yup. It seriously got old after a while.
I’m done with the drama.
I started a job at a retail store where the whole theme of the brand was positivity. It was so refreshing! I’d always felt like a positive person and being around other like-minded people made me feel good. I thrived on that type of environment. From that moment on, I made it a point to live my life in a positive way. I didn’t let someone else’s bad mood get me down and I surrounded myself with other positive people.
Time to make some cuts.
For the sake of self-care, some things just need to be done! There were people in my life that were just a f*cking buzzkill. I didn’t need that and I didn’t want that. I chose to distance myself from toxic people or simply avoid talking to them. Whenever I spent time with a negative person, it really affected my mood. I’m an empath and I can’t help it. Then I thought, why am I letting this happen? This isn’t who I am. You can’t empathize with those negative emotions if they’re not right there in front of you.
Facebook’s unfollow button is my best friend.
Why don’t I just unfriend them? I don’t know, that seems a bit harsh. As I said, I hate confrontation, so I find it easier to just unfollow. It’s perfect for clearing your feed of people that post a negative tirade about their life or share ignorant or hypocritical posts or participate in hateful conversations daily. I don’t need that in my life. Give me all the baby announcements, wedding photos, and the like. Flood my feed with it.
It’s perfectly OK to cut out family too.
There are people in my family that are just so damn negative all the time or they gossip about everyone and everything. Boring! I don’t have time for that crap. Take that negative energy elsewhere. I cut them out without a second thought—I’m not going to feel obligated to spend time with someone that doesn’t provide any substantial value to my life.
I used to feel guilty about cutting people out.
In the past, I never really thought anything about cutting people out. I just simply stopped talking to them or hanging out with them. It wasn’t something I did knowingly, I just didn’t want to spend time with them. I would feel guilty about it, like I was a terrible person.
Self-care isn’t selfish—I think of it as self-empowering.
Some people think it’s selfish to make choices like this, but not me. It’s my life. Why would I want to be around people that don’t positively impact it? Self-care is a huge topic lately. It’s not all about attending to your outer needs by taking a bubble bath or getting a mani-pedi, it’s about doing things that benefit your mental health. What’s better for your mental health than getting rid of negativity?
It’s all for the sake of my mental health.
My mental health has improved tenfold since I decided to cut people from my life, so no, I don’t feel a shred of guilt for it. Quite the opposite! I feel happier than I’ve ever been in my life. I won’t make apologies for throwing up the deuces to our relationship. I’ll live happily ever after in my cocoon of positivity while you fester in your negative mind for the rest of eternity. I’m perfectly happy being exactly where I am.
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