The Fear Of Dying Alone Needs To Be Dealt With Once And For All—It’s Total BS

If you’ve ever been single for a long time, chances are you’ve worried about dying alone. While we’ve all felt that dread once or twice, it’s time to shut it down for good because it’s total BS and it’s not doing you any favors.

  1. You’re never actually alone. Even if you live alone, you’re only a phone call away from people: friends, family, colleagues, and so on. As you grow older, you’ll be creating more connections so you’ll be surrounded by people all the time. Imagine being on your deathbed but surrounded by 20 people who adore you. Would it matter that one of them is not your romantic partner?
  2. You’re thriving. Don’t you love being single? You’re independent, have total freedom, and live life according to your terms. Right. So why does the thought of being alone become scarier when you think of the future? It would be the same as now.
  3. Marriage is no guarantee of not dying alone. If you think marriage will save you from dying alone, you’re so wrong. Your partner could die before you or you could get divorced and find yourself single in your sixties. Hey, it happens!
  4. You can’t let death determine your life. Too much emphasis is placed on the fear of dying alone or having deathbed regrets but that’s no way to live your life. You should be living it now while you have it and making decisions for your amazing life, not for death. After all, when you’re approaching death, you’ll wish you’d lived it up when you had the chance.
  5. What are you really afraid of? Being terrified of dying alone and being eaten by dogs is one thing, but are you sure you’re afraid of death? Perhaps you’re really afraid of never meeting your special someone or how much harder it is to find someone as you get older. Break down the fear and see what’s really bothering you so you can deal with it.
  6. You’ve got your life ahead of you. As far as you know, you’ve got your life ahead of you. That’s many years and decades in which to find someone. But why should that be your main goal? You have so much living to do! Don’t let finding a partner dominate your life because happiness and security definitely don’t exist in another person.
  7. Remember: you could die tomorrow. Sorry for the scary thought but it’s true. And, if you’re single right now, that means you’d be dying alone. Is it really so scary to die without having a relationship status on Facebook? Do you think you’ll feel like you were less satisfied or your life had less meaning? Hell no.
  8. You want to be loved, so be loved. You don’t need a man to make your life amazing, so why should you need one to help you in death? Even if you’re desperate to be loved, you don’t need a man for that. There are many different types of love and they’re everywhere.
  9. Being alone is a choice. Fear of dying alone seems to be tied to fear of being out of control of the future and what happens to you. Yes, life is unpredictable, but you really choose to be alone. You’d have to be a really terrible person and push everyone away to be completely alone. See how unrealistic that is?
  10. You won’t need romantic love when you’re dying. Forget about those romcoms that glamorize dying. When you’re sick and slipping away, you really won’t need a hot man to be holding your hand and you won’t give a damn if Ryan Gosling walks into the room.
  11. Don’t screw up your life. A University of Toronto study found that when people had a greater fear of ending up alone, they lowered their relationship expectations more. Great. So it’s like getting with anyone just so that you’re not alone. SMH. What’s the point? Isn’t it better to die happily and alone than unhappily with someone? You bet.
  12. It comes down to your worth. Fearing that you’ll end up alone is largely society’s fault! I mean, look at how much fear society puts in us: we have to find someone, settle down and have kids or it’s like we’re not complete. But do you really think that having a partner will mean you’ll feel more comfortable about dying when you reach old age? Will you sigh in relief and think, “Okay, I got married. I made it”? No, because there are other things that will make you feel good about your life, and those things will be different for different people. Don’t box yourself into an idea that you think you need to be happy.
  13. There are more important things to regret. You might think you’ll look back on your life and wish you’d found someone to share it with, but you know what you’ll regret even more? If you lived a life that didn’t make you 100 percent blissful. That’s the real regret, not how you die. How you live matters, so whether you’re single or taken, make sure it’s what you really want.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.