Real Fears Strong, Independent Women Have In Relationships

Real Fears Strong, Independent Women Have In Relationships ©iStock/mediaphotos

Strong women are a unique breed; we like to act like we don’t need anyone, but we know deep down that we’ll be happier with some kind of support system. When we’re rocking out single girl style, we’re really confident, but getting into a serious relationship can bring to light fears that we didn’t even realize we had. Even if we’ve met someone who’s absolutely terrific, we can’t help but freak out about these 8 things:

  1. That he’ll turn into a loser. If we’ve been in relationships with losers before, we remember vividly how quickly the loser switch was flipped and the nice guy we fell for was gone, replaced by this reprehensibly cruel creature. Sure, this guy seems amazing, but what if he also turns into a loser? The thought is terrifying.
  2. That the spark may fizzle over time. When you’re in the honeymoon phase, life is grand and your significant other can do no wrong, but we can’t help but think that there’s an elastic band holding those love goggles on, and that band may break at some point. What happens then? What happens if we realize, months or years down the road, that he’s not the right one? It’s really scary to consider.
  3. That we’ll lose ourselves in the relationship. In our single glory days, we’re fully devoted to ourselves and our independence. It’s  a magical time for any strong woman; we’re living the dream. Of course, we still want to find someone special but we’re so confident in ourselves that we know we don’t need anyone else. When we find love, we can’t help but fear that we may get too comfortable and lose our edge, essentially losing ourselves in the process.
  4. That we’ll become less driven in our careers. As strong women, we tend to define ourselves largely on our career success. Our drive is infectious and we’re addicted to success. Even though we want to find long-term love, we don’t want it to stand in the way of our career goals. We don’t want a sugar daddy; we want a partner who helps us stay motivated to achieve our dreams.
  5. The loss of our independence. We love our independence; it’s what makes us who we are. While we don’t want to be alone forever, we could be and we would be OK. When we do decide to enter into a relationship, it’s with an unspoken condition that we remain independent. The thought of being dependent on a man for something we can easily provide for ourselves is not only unbearable but ridiculous.
  6. Losing control of everything in our lives. Strong women like to control everything; we know it and we own it. Being in a serious relationship involves losing at least some of our control, and that’s downright terrifying. We have to make sure we’re committing to the right one, someone who’s strong enough to handle everything we take on without messing it up.
  7. Owning up to our weak moments. Being in a real relationship means allowing someone to see us in all our moments, even when we’re feeling weak. That’s terrifying, because weakness isn’t even remotely comfortable for us. We have to be sure that we’re with the right one before we can allow them to see our vulnerability, and it’s unnerving even when we are sure.
  8. The reality of forever. Even if we’ve spent our lives dreaming about finding the perfect guy and embarking on a forever journey together, we know it’s not that simple. Forever is complicated, it takes work, and it won’t always be magical. Forever is a journey we long for and fear simultaneously, because it means our lives will never be the same again once we go down that road.
Anna Martin Yonk is a freelance writer and blogger in sunny North Carolina. She loves hanging out with her goofy husband and two rescue dogs and can be found at the beach with a drink in hand whenever possible. You can find her on Instagram @mrsyonkdogmom or on her Facebook page.