Pretty much everyone has experienced loneliness, but it doesn’t have to be a bad thing. I polled a bunch of women on what they do to feel less lonely when they’re single and here’s what they said.
Focus on female friendships. When you’re in a relationship, you’re spending a great deal of time with your partner. Being single gives you the opportunity to redirect your attention to your lady friends. These friendships can be some of the most important because they often endure no matter who’s in your love life.
Unabashedly do the things that you love. Take that dance class. Paint that picture. Spend as much time as you can doing something you love. Most importantly, do it without shame or guilt. Relish in your passions and let them guide your life. It’s hard to feel too lonely when you’re overflowing with the things you love most.
Do stuff with people you enjoy. Don’t just do the things you love, also do them with people you love! Crafting is a lot of fun, but even more so when you have a little gathering to do it with you. Somehow the company makes the craft seem even more special. Same goes with sports—you could join a random hockey team or you could put one together with the people you know. Who cares if you suck? It’s all about the fun!
Spend some time alone. This may sound contradictory to what I just said, but I promise the two can exist in tandem. Just as important as it is to spend time doing activities with friends, it’s also crucial to have some alone time. This is a space to clear your head, get in touch with yourself, and learn to enjoy your own company. After all, being with yourself is one of the biggest ways to combat loneliness.
Participate in activism/giving back. Sometimes the best way to get out of your head is to give back to others in some way. This may be through activism or perhaps volunteering, whatever works for you. There’s just something magical about being able to get outside yourself. It’s like your loneliness dissolves and love crops up all over the place. It’s a great way to feel connected. At the very least, it likely can’t make you feel worse.
Cultivate self-love, esteem, and worth. How do you cultivate all of these things? By doing esteemable acts. You do an act like brushing your teeth, showing up on time for work, or being there for a friend and it builds up your self-esteem. Spending time intentionally cultivating love for yourself is some of the best time spent. You’re totally worth it, and doing these things will help you realize it. In turn, you’ll enjoy your own company more and feel just a little less lonely.
Push yourself outside of your comfort zone. Is there a sport you’ve been wanting to try but you’re just too terrified? Challenge yourself to go ahead and join that recreational team. Take that class that you think you aren’t good enough for (newsflash: you are good enough). Pushing yourself outside of your comfort zone takes a great deal of mental energy and you won’t be able to dwell on the fact that you’re lonely.
Create a positive physical environment. This was an interesting one that I hadn’t thought of. Think about your room or a room you spend a great deal of time in. Does it bring you joy? If not, spruce it up. Print out some inspirational phrases to plaster on your wall or get some art that makes your heart happy. Sometimes our physical environments can really affect our insides.
Download some dating apps. OK, this one might seem desperate or like an avoidance tactic, but we’re all just human. Often we’re lonely because we’re seeking a romantic connection. There’s nothing wrong with pursuing this desire and dating apps are great tools to plug you right into hungry singles around you. So swipe away, soak up the validation reminding you how totally awesome you are. As long as this isn’t your single source of self-esteem, you’re all good.
Spend more time with your family. It happens to many of us—we live super busy lives and spending time with our family falls to the backburner. It may have been weeks or months since you’ve seen your siblings. While you’re feeling all lonely, it’s a great time to reconnect. If your family is toxic then this suggestion definitely does not apply, but hopefully, your family can shower you in the love you’re missing.
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